Regretful Morning

The Feminization of Vampire Movies

Posted November 3rd, 2009 at 11:38 am by

Remember when the vampires in movies would just slaughter people left and right while banging hot chicks?  It really wasn’t that long ago.  Unfortunately for those of us who grew to admire the OG bloodsucking badass, Hollywood decided to turn the modern vampire into a complete pussy.  To demonstrate the decline of asskickery in vampire films we’ve made a small timeline.  Side note: We almost had Edward from Twilight in for an interview, but he was too busy sharing a Root Beer float with a construction worker.

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14 Comments
  • skeeez
    November 3, 2009
    Reply


    #1

    Twilight haaaaaay

  • Dave
    November 4, 2009
    Reply


    #2

    What about Let the Right One In? That movie is hardcore.

    • peeetey
      November 4, 2009
      Reply


      #3

      I’ve heard that movie owns.

      • Richard
        April 16, 2010
        Reply


        #4

        It does not. It has some moments, but it’s slow, odd, and not really focused on vampire-ness. I mean some people classify it as a “coming of age story” ffs.

  • newtech
    November 4, 2009
    Reply


    #5

    Give it ten years, some asshat will make the twilight of zombie movies. Bam, another genre down the drain.

  • kaly76hummer
    November 4, 2009
    Reply


    #6

    Who cares!!! My boyfriend thinks the same with me. He is eight years older than me, lol. We met online at __Agelessmatch.com__a nice place for Younger Women and Older Men, or Older Women and Younger Men, to interact with each other. Maybe you wanna check out or tell your friends.

    • The Dude
      January 9, 2011
      Reply


      #7

      Maybe you want to fuck off you spamming troll fuckwad.

  • matt
    December 9, 2009
    Reply


    #8

    let the right one in was hardly hardcore as far as vampire flicks go. it was for the most part boring and only had a handful of scenes that differentiated it from a boring subtitled chick flick. though the movie sampling was picked to illustrate the point of “twilight sucks”. there have been a couple decent vamp flicks, like 30 days of night (2007).

  • Stefanie
    December 10, 2009
    Reply


    #9

    What about Bram Stoker’s Dracula?! It had Gary Oldman, fucking Gary OLDMAN!

  • w00t
    December 13, 2009
    Reply


    #10

    You forgot about John Carpenters Vampires… that’s the most manly vampire movie ever made… That and From Dusk Till Dawn

    • Jason
      December 13, 2009
      Reply


      #11

      Funny you say that. They were first on my list but then we turned it into “this decade” because there are a lot of badass vamp movies.

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