Your “Happy Place” Summarized via Timeline

August 4, 2009 · Print This Article

Looking back, can you remember the first time you encountered adult material?  Amazing wasn’t it?  For me it was when we busted into my friend’s shed where his dad had stacks upon stacks of adult magazines.  I was probably only seven at the time, but I tore into those mint condition mags like a rottweiler devours a raw steak.  It was all downhill from there.

Porn In Your Life: A Timeline

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If we’ve missed any monumental moments in your porn timeline, feel free to share.

Comments

25 Responses to “Your “Happy Place” Summarized via Timeline”
  1. kal says:

    why the fuck are people still buying porn? do you have any idea how much porn there is for free on the internet? what a fucking waste of money.

  2. dick says:

    Well someone has to fund the porn. If everyone gets it for free there will be no incentive to make porn, unless funding is accrued some other way such as through subliminal messages HAHA so that every time you see Heinz ketchup you get a boner and want to buy it for pouring on your hotdog.

  3. Dan says:

    haha holy crap! this was pretty damn accurate.
    I laughed my head off with the ‘aquired a large stash of dvds and mpegs’, but i’m now worried about the final stage. o_O
    I hope it never comes to that… is this what my future holds?

  4. that’s the place you have time to spend here if you feeling very booring you will happy to came of porn sites

  5. crazy glue says:

    wow just some FYI, this is so true for me. LOL

    well except the married part, i’m engaged. i’m still in redtube stage. :)

  6. gravatar says:

    i am at that phase, o m g its exact so far :D

  7. getsitallthetime says:

    WTF is it with regretfulmorning shiling for RedTube all the time? Also, RM’s readers must all fall into the same frat boy demographic for a) their content/advertising to work and b) for the comments to all be “Wow, this is so accurate.” Screw you assholes, I’m going home to get laid.

  8. getsitallthetime says:

    WTF is it with regretfulmorning shiling for RedTube all the time? Also, RM’s readers must all fall into the same frat boy demographic for a) their content/advertising to work and b) for the comments to all be “Wow, this is so accurate.” Screw you assholes, I’m going home to get laid – by my wife and her girlfriend.

  9. Hmm says:

    If the porn makers were to stop RIGHT now, there’d still be about 50TB of torrents that would satisfy every perversion for many years to come..

  10. Elgo says:

    Havent heard of exhibitionists, have you? Plenty of free amature porn going around which is high quality. The problem with porn on the internet though is that for people with not so honest intentions it’s the perfect bait. In buisness cultures browsing porn at the job is often punished not because it’s immoral but because it’s a great security risk.

  11. Orion Darkwood says:

    Well my timeline is a little atypical

    Age 6 – Reading Playboys found at the local landfill
    Age 8 – Reading Hustlers found at the local landfill
    Age 13 – Selling adult mags to fellow students, to buy hardcore mags
    Age 19 – Had over 100 videos and 300 hardcore mags
    Age 20 – downloaded first pornographic pics from BBS, saw my first adult move in the theater
    Age 24 – sold most of collection, wrote poem about it
    Age 25 – downloaded first adult movie, found out I like bukkake
    Age 30 – started collecting fetish movies (S&M, diapears, dental play not that I am in to any of it just because its a interesting hobby)

  12. joseph says:

    age 6 stole pictures of bras from sears and rainbow chain stores
    age 7 downloaded naked pic of pamela anderson through strategic aol chat exchange
    age 8 took first pornographic picture
    age 13 learned dream weaver and made first porn site with stolen images
    age 15 first film with girlfriend. girlfriend didn’t know about it
    age 17 went to art school to become professional photographer

    age 18 until death — made amateur porn

  13. Thomas anderson says:

    What about the sears catalogues. Most people start with those before the Victorias catalogs. And noone orders tv channels cause the parents find out. You borrow the VHS from a friend who copied it from the dad’s collection.

    Seems anybody with two minutes can make a half ass list.

  14. jergen says:

    Am i the only one that started with the internet? I’m 19 now, and have a huge collection of downloaded movies, and visit xvideos(better than red tube) on a regular basis. Thank god i got my girlfriend into it too….i think shes a keeper.

  15. conservative4life says:

    lol buying porn is funny. nowaday, i could just download porn in high definition. God praise torrents.

  16. Lem says:

    why is it that everyone in the ‘public’ seems to think that girlfriends hate porn and you have to hide it?? is that an american thing or something? read more dan savage

  17. transit says:

    Seriously. People who fit this timeline need to find better girlfriends.

    Up until age 12 – Slightly older neighbor had a playboy that was waterlogged from having been hidden under a tree.
    Ages 12-14 – Holy Shit! BBS’s are awesome!
    Ages 15-18 – Holy Shit! IRC/Usenet is awesome!
    Ages 19-23: Holy Shit! P2P is awesome!
    Ages 24+: Holy Shit! Torrents are awesome!

  18. Dogbert says:

    Need to add in the post-retirement era: Actually find lemonparty.com kinda hot.

  19. Mick says:

    Is it bad that I used redtube in high school? I also just skipped past victoria’s secret and playboy…. :D

  20. clive says:

    13- found older neighbour’s stash of mags and movies- first jerk off
    16- actionx and spice ntwk
    18- torrents and rapidshare, mostly vivid and hustler videos
    21- tube sites during dry spells; running a portable linux coz girlfriend knows a little too much bout comps

  21. Abdul Malik says:

    Hello my sweetheart you Happy with a big cock

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