First keg stand turns into 4 mile hike
August 20, 2009 · Print This Article
Name: Chris
Age (at the time): 18
I used to go to Radford, a shit college about 15 minutes from Virginia Tech. One night while visiting Tech some friends and I were at a house party about a mile from my friend’s dorm. At this party we get hammered, like really hammered, and were drinking keg beer and shitty vodka.
That night I decided that I would do my first keg stand. I remember going up for the kegstand but blacked out mid-stand. While up in the air it seems that everything in my pockets fell out, including my phone my cigarettes, my keys, and all that. Then, a friend later told me, while standing on the deck I sprinted off into the woods across the street and disappeared. Not having my phone or an inch of sobriety my friends now could not find me.
Keg Stand Fail – Watch more Funny Videos
The next thing I know I pop back into consciousness walking through down town Blacksburg, which was about two miles from the party that I had been at. The only problem is, that now I’m dirty, scratched up by thorns
(apparently) and most curiously, I was wearing only one shoe but both my socks were gone. This means that at some point during my foray into the woods I had removed my shoes and my socks and had put just one of my shoes back on and I guess abandoned everything else to the elements.
Now, being drunk as shit and looking the part at age 18 in a downtown area was not good, but I made the three mile (or thereabouts) walk to my friends dorm. I had to be let into the building by a random person and knocked on my friends door, there was no answer.
That night I slept in the hall bathroom’s shower area and still have never done another kegstand.
Dear Chris, first of all I’d like to say good job on keeping one shoe. Most people who go on a 4 mile hike while completely hammered, end up at their destination naked. Also, I wouldn’t count out keg stands just yet. You just need to be sure that you’re not doing them if you’ve already consumed a shit ton of alcohol. Now get back out there slugger!
I go to Radford and it makes sense you would do something that fucking dumb at Tech. Its good that you aren’t a student at Radford (probably failed out) because we don’t need retards like you at our college.
Don’t be a hater.
Um… Radford isn’t exactly MIT dude.
I got a good keg stand story for ya…
Pretty good at keg stands….never been really phased before.
Good night drink a lot and partying. Decide to do a keg stand…success.
My buddies and I left shortly after and I split up with them because I left 5 minutes in the other direction. And as soon as I said ” See you guys tomorrow” and started to walk the other way, I came to kinda hazy in front of this bush.
Half blacked out….still pretty drunk I moved to the left and right, but was so far gone that I could figure out how to find a way around this midsize bush. haha ( there was cleary nothing on the right or left side of the bush).
About a minute goes by and I realize what I am doing and say ” Fucking dumb bush!”
I start walking and realize I am only a block away from where I had last human contact….
Ok this is the best part…We left the party at 3am… and as I walk past this bush I think what time is it? I pull out my phone….5:58am…What the fuck have I been doing for almost 3 hours!?!?!
Apparently this was a crafty bush!
you hit a time warp man.