When the brown eye winks, the room stinks

Name: Schmee
Age (at the time): 15

When I was about fifteen years old I had a pretty awesome girlfriend. Hot as fuck and not only that but the biggest nymphomaniac I have ever met. This was around the time that lame ass movie A.I.
came out and she decided to see it. I didn’t really care for the movie at all, but since Jude Law was it, she practically shit her pants and said we need to see this. I am sitting there thinking, “Jesus, this movie is going to be bogus as hell.” Luckily, she started to realize the same thing.

After about an hour into the movie, she leans over to me and says, “This movie sucks cock, and speaking of sucking cock, I want yours in my mouth… now.” I was sitting there thinking, “Oh boy, here it comes.” she then tells me to meet her in the unisex bathroom. I wasn’t really down with it at first, but then I decided why not, this probably won’t happen ever again. So she tells me to do some stupid knock so she knows that it’s me.

I wait about five or ten minutes after she leaves and I decide it’s time for glory. I find my way to the bathroom and try decide which one she went into. Luckily, I guessed the right one. I knock on the door to the old Shave-and-a-Haircut tune. Like from Who Framed Roger Rabbit when he’s hiding in the bar. She opens the door, and it was pitch black. I walk in, and she locks the door and pretty much takes me down to the ground and I’m sitting there naked, wondering what ninja skills does this girl have. We start going to town and start banging the living hell out of each other. Before we started banging each other’s brains out, I started wondering what the hell would happen if someone happened to catch us. Next thing I know, I hear someone knocking. I immediately pull out and start getting dressed and then the knocking stops. I turn on the light and tell her that we should probably get out of there before someone comes back. She says, “NO!!” and rips my pants off.

This time we kept the lights on. I told her lets just stick to some oral sex. We start 69-ing and after about 30 seconds of doing it, I realize something smells like shit. I didn’t really care about the smell at first.

I figured a little fart must have snuck out or something, so I kept on going to town. Then, the smell just started getting worse and worse and way more potent by the second. I pull my head back and realize that it really does smell like shit. After realizing the smell was poop, I take a look and see some nasty ass pudding type shit stuck in her crack. Immediately I start dry heaving and just act like I’m about to cum. I stand up and run straight for the toilet and just put my clothes on and told her, “Call your mom now, we are leaving.” She looked clueless as to what was going on, but I figured she had dropped a deuce before I went into there and did not do a thorough job of wiping that shit.

To this day I still have nightmares… It gives me the shivers every time I think about it.

Dear Schmee, first of all your girlfriend had some issues.  What chick takes a dump in a movie theater?  I guess that question sort of answers itself “the kind that wants you to bang her afterwords.”  Props to you for trying to power through it.  Personally I wouldn’t ever be able to look at her the same again.