Name: CK
Age: 24

A few years ago we did a pub crawl.  At around the 5th bar we met another group of people who were doing their own pub crawl.  So toward the end of this thing I’m hitting it off with one of the girls from the other group.  We were both hammered beyond words so we took a cab back to her place.

Now the rest is fuzzy but I’m pretty sure we hooked up.  At around 5am I wake up with a pain in my stomach.  What I saw next has haunted me until this day.

Apparently I had shit in my sleep, and it was everywhere.  I wanted to get out of there fast but I didn’t want her to know that I shit in her bed so I panicked…  So in my panicked state I used my finger to smear some of the poo on the back of her panties.  I was hoping that she would think that she had been the one the made the mess.  So then I washed up and bolted home.

A few months later I saw her again but she didn’t say a word to me.

Dear CK, I really like your creativity but don’t you think she would have noticed that only the outside of her panties had been shit on?  I’m still going to give you an A+ for critical thinking, but in the future you should consider wiping some of your turd in her ass crack.  This should cover all of the bases and she’d definately think that she was the brown bandit.