Regretful Morning

When should I wear a condom?

Posted July 14th, 2009 at 11:49 am by

Wearing a condom is like trying to eat a steak through a plastic bag.  However, the awesome girls who don’t make you wear condoms have probably told the 27 dudes before you the same thing.  There will always be a small grey zone when it comes to raw dogging.

We’ve developed a flowchart that will let you pin point the safest route to having unprotected sex.


Around The Web

  • tj
    July 15, 2009


    Looks incomplete… how does telling her you had a Vasectomy immediately lead to wearing a condom…. i think you need a couple more boxes…

  • Television Spy
    July 15, 2009


    A little confusing lol

    • Jason
      July 15, 2009


      How adorable. I was going for the following: If you hook up with a chick who doesn’t tell you to wear a rubber, you probably should.

  • Bob
    July 15, 2009


    I think “Tell her you had a vasectomy” continues down to “Act like you’re going to insert your penis.” That intersection is confusing…

  • wiggles
    July 15, 2009


    so when don’t you wear a condom? this is flawed. and none of that “ALwAYS WEAR A CONDOM” bull.

  • Replier
    July 15, 2009


    I’m fairly certain, wiggles, that that is indeed the point. If she didn’t ask you to, be a gentleman and wear a condom. The vasectomy is there so that when you go to insert a 2nd time, she obviously won’t ask you to wear one again, so you follow the flow chart to wear a condom…but I agree, it is fairly confusing

  • timmuh
    July 15, 2009


    Wow. You guys are pathetic… it’s a joke flowchart… get a life and quit analyzing it. It’s supposed to make you laugh not freeze your limited frontal lobe in unfathomable confusion.

  • davidlh
    July 15, 2009


    the point is…you ALWAYS wear a condom

  • Aaron
    July 15, 2009


    So when I take off my wife’s pants and she doesn’t hesitate…I should put on a condom?

  • Adult
    July 15, 2009


    I thought condoms where for sailors!

  • Michael
    July 15, 2009


    Stupidest flowchart ever

  • yeah2311
    July 15, 2009


    For Christ’s sake people it’s not that hard. The chart is clearly for one night stands (let me spell it out, fucking a chick for one night). If she asks you to wear a condom it means she’s not a complete slut and most likely doesn’t have an STD so its safe to raw dog her and get the extra fun out of it. You then follow the line down to act like you’re going to insert dick, and fuck the shit out of her. If she doesn’t ask or hesitate it means she is a complete slut and probably is an STD machine. To avoid contracting every known disease you should cover your tool and then fuck the shit out of her. NOT THAT HARD.

  • Cynic
    July 17, 2009


    Maybe you should learn how to read a flowchard?

  • dick
    August 29, 2009


    how the fuck are you supposed to have kids?

    I think the condom companies and artificial/cloning companies have conspired to brain wash us with this naive looking, yet deviously shrewd, flowchart.

  • Hans Moleman
    October 9, 2009


    My God, I hope that the majority of you idiots never procreate. I saw one or two posters who were not a complete waste of atoms.

  • SJC
    December 13, 2009


    Here’s a shorter version: Should I wear a condom?—–>YES FOR GOD’S SAKE. If you even have to ask, the answer is always a resounding YES.

  • katelyn
    January 9, 2010


    hey do girls have to use condoms if u are having sexs with your boy friend
    or if a guy is wearing a condom and your not is it ok to still have sex or not?????

    • kryvian's sister
      January 9, 2010


      u never have to

  • girlnumberonemillion
    May 30, 2010


    uhm.. first off girls arent goiing to tell the guy to wear a condom unless they plan on having kids it shouldnt be a elective wear A CONDOM.! end of discusion.

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