Regretful Morning

Scoring chicks at the bar: Skill or Simple Math?

Posted July 23rd, 2009 at 10:16 am by

Males and females have very different reasons for going out to bars and clubs.  For women it’s about the adventure, attention, and most of all, the dancing.  For men, it’s the slightest shimmer of hope that we might place our penis into something besides our palm.

Unfortunately the percentage of guys who actually get laid vs the percentage of guys who want to get laid is extremely low.

get laid bars

Often you’ll hear someone state they get laid because “they’ve got game.”  Although this may be true, we’re here to inform you that as long as you can do basic math, you should start seeing your numbers go up.

We’d like to present you with a few examples.

This is Ryan.  Ryan is going to approach Nicole in various stages of her night.

Example A) Nicole has had one cosmo.

As you may have noticed, Nicole was not very interested in Ryan after 1 drink.

Example B) Nicole has had 3 cosmos and 1 shot. 1 shot = the same alcohol level as an entire drink.  Nicole’s current alcohol intake = 4 drinks.

Ryan uses quick thinking to make up a lie about the car he drives.  He knows he can always say that his BMW is in the shop if they make it out to his Civic.

Example C) Nicole has had 5 cosmos and 3 shots. Her total alcohol intake is now at 8 drinks.

Conclusion: For optimal results, don’t start hitting on girls until they’ve guzzled at least 8 drinks.

Around The Web

  • skeez
    July 23, 2009


    I’d hit that.

  • Penis N You
    July 23, 2009


    Yes, please text your boyfriend, so he doesn ot interfere with me putting my penis is you.

    I am not sutre why I laughed,,,but I did.

  • Ryan
    July 23, 2009


    Hmm, something seems awfully familiar here…

  • This was STUPID
    July 23, 2009


    THAT’S what I came to this website for?!?! For some idiot with a mac to tell me that more drinks = more sex?!? MOTHERSH1TTER! What a waste of G0DD4MN time. I wish I could strangle the idiot that made these stupid videos. What’s the matter? Couldn’t get a “REAL HUMAN FEMALE” to say those fscking 8 words for the “script”. Holy SH1T i’m pissed. God this was stupid.

    • Jason
      July 23, 2009


      I made them, and if you can’t tell I’ve placed my neck directly in front of the monitor so you can give me a quick choke. Still friends?

  • some dude
    July 24, 2009


    An idiot with a mac? That’s redundant…

  • Oliver
    July 24, 2009


    I’m a little disappointing with this post as well, I’m not sure how the hell you got your rank on digg?

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