One time when I was in the hospital my dad came by and tried to cheer me up with a joke.

• Him: Have you ever noticed the numbers on the very bottom of condoms after you roll them on?
• Me: No
• Him: I guess you don’t have to roll yours down very far either *cackle*

Thanks dad!  I’m 2 inches away from death and you hit me with dick jokes?  Anyway, I was thinking about that moment and it somehow morphed into this idea.

PS – Call me dad, I have a new phone.

Trojan XL – The condoms you buy to look cool.

Dental Dam – Get all of the excitement from oral sex without the pleasure.

KY Jelly – Awesome for anal, don’t get lazy.

LifeStyles Snugger Fit – GL man.