Summer is finally here, and for a lot of you this means “Road Trip!” A cross country tote with your pals can be euphoric. It’s the perfect blend of testosterone and hetero man-love. Sort of like watching Blackhawk Down while completely blazed.
Unfortunately road trips are also a test of ones patience and the ability to adapt. In our example we’re going to use four males between the ages of 18 and 24 (Brad, Mike, Zeek, and you)
- Distance traveled: 200 miles
- Sites visited: 6
Ooooh man this kicks ass, first road trip with the guys woot! Haha Brad is cranking AC/DC ‘Back in Black’, I love this damn song! Ahhh Zeek just ripped a fart hahahah soooo funny.
- Distance traveled: 250 miles
- Sites visited: 5
Mike is drooling like a mofo hah. He’s gonna wake up looking like Stormy Daniels after a facial scene. Good one Zeek! Damn that was loud but smelly, roll down a window bro. “Back in Black doo doo doo”. Awesome we’re at the giant elephant!
- Distance traveled: 320 miles
- Sites visited: 3
I swear to god Zeek shit his pants. There is no way something that foul could come from a fart. Brad needs to get himself some different CD’s, where the hell is my iPod? Son of a bitch – if Mike drools on my seat one more time he’s getting punched.
- Distance traveled: 550 miles
- Sites visited: 1
That’s it, we need to just leave Zeek at the next rest stop. I can’t take his constant pants shitting anymore. When Brad isn’t looking I’m going to toss his shitty CD out the window. Surprise surprise – Mike just slobbered up my iPod. That’s it, he’s getting punched. Wow that was an over reaction. Cool, he wants to slap box.
- Distance traveled: 900 miles
- Sites visited: 0
OK Zeek, that was the last straw. I’m going to drop my pants and squeeze out a barking spider right in his mouth. Again with AC/DC? Holy shit I’m going insane. WTF did I just put my hand in? Mother fu…. An elbow to the face should teach him a lesson. Damn this is getting heated, looks like we’re pulling over to brawl.