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Helpful tips to conceal your boner at the beach

Beach season can be very exciting.  The problem: For the first few weeks, this excitement can be overwhelming – Because up until a few weeks ago, we were only able to see half naked woman from the screen of our PC’s (where it is acceptable to have a monster erection).  It’s sort of like seeing a lion at the zoo vs seeing one out in the wild.

Cosmo

We know this transition can be difficult, so we’ve outlined a few tips for you this summer season.

Dig A Hole In The Sand – At the first signs of giant hard-on some of us tend to panic and roll over immediately.  This can be painful if not executed properly.  And depending on your shorts, there is a possibility of your little buddy getting a sneak peak of some sun light.  Stay calm and dig a small hole where your pelvic region meets your towel.  This will allow your yogurt slinger to safely and comfortably retract.

dig hole

Pretend Like You’re Stretching – Stretching at the beach is commonly practiced, so you won’t have to worry about looking awkward.  People will think you’re about to go for a jog or a power swim.  Hiding a boner will be the last thing on anybodies mind.

stretching

Place Beer Between Legs – If you’re in a situation where you’re in a lawn chair, you may not want to lose your seat.  Fear not, this is but a perfect opportunity to crack open another cold beer.

beach3

The beer can works in two ways.

  1. It can be used to cover an unwelcome bulge.
  2. The chilling beer can works as an electric fence when it comes into contact with your penis.

Conclusion: The first few weeks of beach season can be a true testament of one’s willpower and focus.  When venturing away from your towel to retrieve more food and beverages, we’d suggest that you keep your line of site directly in front of you.  If at anytime you become distracted, just think of this guy.