Regretful Morning

5 Mistakes Men Make in the Bedroom

Posted June 17th, 2009 at 10:58 am by

Every once in awhile we let someone post a guest article.  Today we’re going to give the floor to Gerri (yes she has a vagina).


Let’s face it.  Mistakes happen.  There are some things you should never even consider saying or doing to a woman in the bedroom.  However, since nobody gave you a rulebook, you may only find out what these things are after you’ve ruined the moment.  Here are a few things you need to avoid to keep the object of your romance from bolting.

Mentioning Other People


Surely you know by now, talking about your ex is a turnoff.  Don’t do it.  Ever.  There are other people you shouldn’t mention in the bedroom either, like your mother, your lover’s best friend and the Pope.  And by all means, never ask her about her past lovers.  Just to be on the safe side, act as though the two of you are the only people on the planet when you’re trying to score.  She’ll appreciate it.

Rushing to the Finish Line


As hard as it can be sometimes, you have to slow down and take your time.  Don’t try to round the bases too quickly, or you may get tagged out.  While pawing at your girl like an animal has it’s time and place, try to make it last.  Otherwise, when you roll over, she’ll roll her eyes, and you may not get another opportunity to show her what you’ve got.

Not Asking Questions/Asking Too Many Questions


This one is tricky. You need to know if she’s digging your moves, but a constant interrogation is unsexy.  Take your cues from her breathing and movements and throw in “is that good for you, baby?” sparingly, and only when appropriate.

Going Too Far, Too Fast


Hold up cowboy.  Before you pull out the handcuffs, make sure she’s down with that, or you’ll look like a rodeo clown.  If the relationship is new, you might want to bring in the trapeze and nipple clamps gradually, and only after some discussion about what she’s into or willing to try.

Forgetting the Alcohol Factor


Before you bring somebody back home after a night on the town, you should keep in mind that all that alcohol you just consumed might cause you some embarrassment.  That’s right, impotence.  Even if you’ve never had a problem in this area before, it can happen.  You may not remember it in the morning, but it’s something she won’t forget.

Around The Web

  • Ruby Blye
    June 17, 2009


    Actually that was seven mistakes listed. I have personally made them all plus three not listed.

  • stephen george
    June 18, 2009



    Each girl is different.

    Some like rough some like it smooth. Some will not like anything you do.

    Some will cream their pants without you doing anything.

    How do you know what she wants?

    Talking is a good move. So is letting her make the moves.



  • berky93
    October 19, 2009


    I find it funny that one of the pictures for “too far, too fast” was actually a picture from an advertisement of a wrist watch. Those aren’t handcuffs, but a watch designed to look similar to them.

  • Rob P.
    January 31, 2010


    Lockpicking school helped. When she slapped them on me she felt empowered. She loved it when I slapped them on her a few minutes later. Good girl.

    We never had the conversation, but quickly found out what was acceptable by mutual understanding. My current girl (and soon to be wife) is more of a mystery. She keeps saying she likes it a little rough, but wants me to stay in her for hours after. Yes it’s possible.

    She needs a good pounding over the table soon. SHe keeps asking me for it, but it has to be a surprise or it just won’t be the same.

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