Name: Eric R
The party bounced back and forth between neighboring trailers. The pickin’s were slim and the competition for booty was high. Being the stud that I am I bragged to my buds how I would be hittin one of the two prime hotties that were there.
Being low on booze I knew I had to step up to the plate and go score something cheap and potent that would last the night. I returned with a half gallon of beams choice only to discover that the hotties were gone and the only people remaining were my little brother, his friend, and “Karen”. Karen is the girl that nobody does. She always seemed to show up just to make the ugly girls look good. I’m sure inside she’s a beautiful person but her misshapen body, huge eyebrows, off kilter eye and hideous laugh made it hard to see.
Anyhow….yea, I ended up doing Karen although it comes back real blurry from the beams choice. Seems she’s into giving hickies and it looked like I barely survived a linching. When I woke up I headed to my buddy Joe’s to see where the party went and if anyone nailed hot Michelle.
It was obvious the party moved to Joe’s from the smoldering bon fire out back and the hung over bodies huddled around the picnic table. As I sat Michelle gave me a warm smile and asked me if I got lost last night. Everyone seemed to be staring at the wounds on my neck when Karen strolled in and sat on my lap.
As I realized people were connecting the dots and the smell of Karens armpits hit me, I suddenly upchucked into her lap. I was forever marked.
Dear Eric, what you did was admirable. Taking one for the team deserves credit from your peers. Think of it as a war medal. Taking one for the team and vomiting on her lap is basically like getting a purple heart.