Regretful Morning

Resident Big Girl Goes For Sausage

Posted April 25th, 2009 at 3:51 pm by

Name: John

Age: 19

I was in college about two and a half years ago. The guys across the hall from me had a party and I attended. I ended up dominating solo 99 cup against 4 guys. Needless to say, I got hammered.

At about 2am the party ended and I found myself commando crawling (on my stomach by my elbows) up and down the dorm with a friend looking for an unlocked door. We wanted to find an XBox so I could dominate him in drunken Halo. Failing, we decided to call it a night.

We grabbed showers about 4 stalls apart and proceeded to sing the worst version of ‘Brown Eyed Girl’ the world has ever heard. I forgot about my clothes and walked naked back to my room. My roommate, upset that I had punished him physically for giving away MY beer. decided to fuck with me. He took my clothes back to my room while I was passed out. He then text messaged the college’s resident big girl with my phone, and got her to come into the dorm.

I woke up the next morning receiving weird looks from everybody in the dorm. They had seen the big bitch walk into my room. I was passed out and had no idea who they were talking about.

fatgirl311

I found out about 3 days later that my roommate let the girl into my room, where she proceeded to perform fellatio on me for 3 hours while I was passed out. I was fatty raped. Once I found out, I spent the next 4 hours in the shower with 3 bottles of axe snakepeel and a brillo pad. My junk cried that day.

Dear John, I have a hard time believing that you didn’t wake up.  This is a safe place so you can be honest.  You did infact wake up and loved every minute of it, am I right?

This story was submitted as an entry for The Fixers ‘hook up gone wrong ‘ contest.  You can submit your own hook up story here for a chance at an AXE prize pack.

Submit Your
Regretful Story

Around The Web

3 Comments
  • John
    April 25, 2009
    Reply


    #1

    Jason,

    After the equivalent of 34 beers in 2.5 hours, a hall-crawl workout, and a relaxing, musical shower, I slept until 7pm the next day. The only good news is I woke up without a hangover.

    • Teabagger
      April 26, 2009
      Reply


      #2

      That was you? Don’t lie bitch you were awake

  • ericr64
    April 26, 2009
    Reply


    #3

    It’s perfectly fine to fake sleeping and just let it happen.

We Recommend
From Our Partners
Get The Book!
rmbook250x100-1

Troll with us on Facebook:    On Twitter: