So the military invests a lot of money into, you guessed it, weapons and fortifications. Over the years, some words have gained ground and popularity amongst the military production types. Once upon a time it was cannon. Then submersible, howitzer, and stealth. Now, it’s tactical. And much like the aforementioned ‘technologies,’ the word is far ahead of it’s time.
\-k(?-)l?\ adverbNow according to Merriam-Webster, the two most viable definitions for tactical are “using or being weapons or forces employed at the battlefront” (which seems silly, since all weapons would then be tactical) or “of or relating to small-scale actions serving a larger purpose.” That last one sounds right. Until you see some of the things they call tactical, like:
The AA12
The AA12 is a tactical automatic shotgun. And yes, that is probably the only time you will ever hear ‘tactical’ and ‘shotgun’ in the same sentence. This bastard child of innovation and boys who like to hear “BOOM” has no recoil, and can fire 300 12-gauge rounds in under a minute. The only possible way this sorry excuse for a writer can imagine this weapon would fit that second description would be staring into the abysmal, rotting face of Armageddon. If you are being attacked by wave after wave of dozens of shambling, half-naked mostly-dead zombies, this baby would surely come in handy for ‘tactically’ mowing them bitches down.
A Carpet-Bombing
So don’t hurt me, but this entry isn’t exactly a weapon. It’s more of a use of a group of the same weapon ‘tactically.’ Now Typically, I’d say nothing with explosives can be considered tactical. Then I remember the shaped breaching charges to blow holes through hulls, doors, or grandma’s walker (if your bat-shit crazy, but have a great sense of humor). So yeah, explosives could be considered tactical, depending on what they are, or do. Take the military definition of carpet bomb. To precisely explode the fuck out of everything in site. Really now? That’s the tactical equivalent of running your mother in-law over with a bus, then backing back over her with it for good measure. (Perhaps not a bad idea…)
The Metal Storm
Metal Storm’s website boasts it as the next tactical weapon in America’s arsenal, though it’s not quite there yet. Whether or not it makes it, it IS FUCKING AWESOME. Essentially, each gun barrel up to, and exceeding, 40 millimeters in diameter, has a long stack of bullets in each barrel. Each bullet gets fired using an electrical charge, propelling out the barrel faster than Superman. The best part of this gun? It can fire over a million rounds per minute. To put that into perspective, that’s about the equivalent of 333 miniguns firing simultaneously. As pants-shittingly awesome that is, there’s nothing tactical about the ability to level a forest with a gun. Except, you know, Armageddon.
A tactical Nuke
I’m sorry to say, the military does in fact consider nuclear weapons tactical. But not all of them, no! Just the tactical ones. Like in Nagasaki and Hiroshima. There is nothing at all tactical about blasting the shit out of everything, everywhere, for over a mile. You can even ask that one Japanese girl who got papercuts out the ass when she made like, a hundred thousand origami paper cranes. Why? I don’t know. You probably don’t either. Though I think it’s safe to say it was probably Japans tactical response. Well, it worked! So tactical and clandestine, no one ever knew about it. Though it may have had something to do with the sudden American fondness of strange Japanese tentacle-porn. Well played, Japan. Well played.
The TMD
The Tactical Munitions Dispenser, or TMD, is a fancy word for a clusterbomb. For those of you who don’t know what a cluster bomb is, allow me to explain. Here’s how it works. Either a bomb is dropped out of an airplane, or a missile is launched from a base, boat, submarine, etc. As soon as that missile or bomb reaches a certain height, a small explosive is triggered which rips apart the bomb casing, and disperses up to hundreds of smaller bomblettes indiscriminately over a battle field. Then each of those bomblettes falls to the Earth and explodes, killing anything and everything in the area. This could include civilians, non-combatant foreigners, and friendly forces. After the war, conflict, whatever has ended, any of those bomblettes that didn’t explode can be set off by dogs, children, or any civilians who stumble across them. The reason they are worse than unexploded bombs is because a nation knows exactly how many missiles and bombs it drops, and how many of them explode. However, there is no way to track how many bomblettes do and do not explode, or are released.
The Schrapnellmine
Obviously a German name, the tactical Schrapnellmine, aka the S-mine, was a mine developed and employed by particularly sadistic Germans throughout World War II. Known to allied soldiers as Bouncing Bettys, these were pressure sensitive anti personnel mines designed to kill troops. You know what’s the problem with most landmines? They kill from the feet up. We can’t have that, no, we’re Nazis! Let’s develop a mine that shoots up from the ground, squeals, then explodes sending shrapnel, ball bearings, and explosion at the faces of allied soldiers! The reason these babies aren’t tactical? The number of German soldiers who forgot where they had placed these mines, and then fell victim to them (in a platoon, mind you) is said to be close to a thousand.
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March 30, 2009
#1
I keep the AA12 under my pillow.
March 31, 2009
#2
The definition of ‘tactical’ is “a plan for attaining a particular goal,” which all of these do.
March 31, 2009
#3
The advertisment for totallycrap at the bottom of the article was more interesting. ^^
March 31, 2009
#4
but all of these weapons have enormous potential for collateral damage, thus achieving a more general goal, rather than a specific one.
March 31, 2009
#5
The paper cranes are a gesture of peace, luck and health. Look up the story of Sadako if you like. It’s a sad place, because thousands of innocents died in Hiroshima. War is hell, wrong, conflicted, a paradox and never ends well, no matter what.
I Like that shotgun though.
March 31, 2009
#6
OMGosh dude, I havent heard the term bouncing betty’s since the late 70s! Those things were scary dude!
RT
http://www.anonymity.us.tc
March 31, 2009
#7
Kind of sad that he made this without knowing the term for tactical
March 31, 2009
#8
Howitzer? How is Howitzer a descriptor? Its a cannon, and a nasty one at that, but I don’t think I would describe something like, “The sealpup is a very howitzer knife” or “look at that Howitzer nuclear missle. “
March 31, 2009
#9
A platoon consists of 30 to 50 soldiers, so I don’t see how 1000 soldiers in a platoon were hurt by these.
March 31, 2009
#10
1)The AA12, aside from being an awesome house to house weapon, has spurred the development of a 12 gauge grenade. Seriously. The burst radius is something really small but you could fire it from a single shot break open shotgun like Jed Clampett might use.
3)Metal storm is being adapted to under barrel weapons for the M4 including a shotgun and a 40mm, 3 shot grenade launcher. These very easily fall under tactical. It’s also important to note that the million rpm fire rate was achieved by firing 36 barrels simulataneously.
And you are right. It’s freaking cool.
4)Tac nukes are differentiated from a strategic nuclear weapon. Tac nukes are man portable as opposed to be being delivered by a ICBM or similar device and presumeably have somewhat less of a whallop than what leveled Hiroshima.
March 31, 2009
#11
That word. You keep using it. It does not mean what I think you think it means.
March 31, 2009
#12
do you know anything about tactical vs strategic? all of the above are tactical weapons. maybe you’d understand the aa12 if you ever had to do urban work. there have been numerous shotguns in the inventory–try researching before bitching.
March 31, 2009
#13
These weapons seem perfectly tactical to me.
The metal storm, for example, can be mounted to a ship and used to destroy anti-ship missiles. Low chance for collateral damage and achieves a specific goal.
March 31, 2009
#14
Looking for some anti missile stuff on youtube – you have any links?
March 31, 2009
#15
Yeah… uh… all of those are tactical. Just because they have the potential for collateral damage does not by any means make them not tactical weapons.
Oh yeah, tactical shotguns are not unusual at all… tactical shotguns (yes they are called that) are often used in door breaching and room clearing, as well as by many police forces. So I have seen tactical and shotgun used in the same sentence often.
Try writing about a topic that you have at least some degree of knowledge in next time, eh?
March 31, 2009
#16
On Metal Storms front page:
“Metal Storm Limited is a defence technology company that develops projectile launching systems utilising its unique, electronically fired, stacked projectile technology.”
2 misspellings in one sentence, now that is a company I would trust with destructive TACnology.
April 4, 2009
#17
Zach:
‘ “Metal Storm Limited is a defence technology company that develops projectile launching systems utilising its unique, electronically fired, stacked projectile technology.”
2 misspellings in one sentence, now that is a company I would trust with destructive TACnology ‘
If you’d come up out of your mother’s basement once in a while, you might realize that most of the world doesn’t spell things the same as Americans. Thus, “defence” and “utilising” are the norm in the majority of the English-speaking realm. Next you’re going to start in on colour and humour?
March 31, 2009
#18
so what language are you using for this article?-
tactical english?
March 31, 2009
#19
Pretty un-informed article. There are numerous tactical applications for a shotgun. Didn’t read past the first weapon.
March 31, 2009
#20
Hooray, another nerd who thinks he/she is knowledgeable in military weaponry because they played Half Life. Atleast do 5 minutes of research before posting something, seriously. Hiroshima and Nagasaki were both hit by strategic nukes. Maybe you should write another shitty article on strategic weapons too?
March 31, 2009
#21
The Metal Storm was developed primarily as a defensive system. The idea was to automatically track and destroy inbound RPGs. It would be mounted on a Humvee like a miniature CIWS.
Also, the reason tactical nuclear weapons are called “tactical” nuclear weapons is because they are for tactical (of or relating to small-scale actions serving a larger purpose) missions, like destroying an entire armor division. They are therefore distinct from “strategic” nuclear weapons which play larger, less subtle roles, like destroying the enemy’s major cities.
March 31, 2009
#22
Wow. If you had a point to make, it would have been seriously undermined by your overwhelming ignorance on the topic.
March 31, 2009
#23
“which seems silly, since all weapons would then be tactical.”
Wrong.
A strategic weapon is one that is used to obtain a result off the battlefield, such as bombing munitions plants, aircraft factories, and transportation facilities. During World War II, the U. S. VIII Bomber Command was used to make strategic raids deep into Germany, whilst the IX Bomber Command was used to bomb and otherwise harass front-line German troops in France.
Tactical is fighting the guys in front of you. Strategic is bombing their homes 1400 miles away.
March 31, 2009
#24
And by the way, tactical shotguns are a staple for every law enforcement agency and miltary in the world. Try a google search for the term. In fact, try googling everything in this article.
April 1, 2009
#25
Kind of sad that he made this without knowing the term for tactical.
April 1, 2009
#26
You guys have nothing else to do than discuss the appropriateness of the term “tactical”?
And jokes about Hiroshima and Nagasaki suck, joke about 9/11 for a change.
Not so funny now? The US administration claimed more than 110 000 lives in Japan when they were about to surrender. Go on bombing your own country instead, and then blame a dude in a cave, now THAT’S funny!
April 1, 2009
#27
Hey Rambo, WTF are you talking about? There hasn’t been much in the way of jokes here, and you are playing a hand in a debate on which you apparently lack an opinion. Who exactly is wasting time?
April 1, 2009
#28
…oh, and here’s a one liner for ya: Science flies you to the moon, religion flies you into buildings!
April 3, 2009
#29
I like the flies on my unwashed ball sack better than that joke.
April 1, 2009
#30
the author is mistaken in his or her definition of tactical and strategic.
in the nuclear weapons example, Mutually Assured Destruction is a strategy, ICBMs and the fleet of submarines that carry nukes fall into the category of strategic because they execute this strategy. the bombs on hiroshima are tactical because they were used on a particular target. so all of the above weapons are tactical.
think of the strategy as defining the rules of the game for a player, while tactics are specific tools used within strategy to win.
April 1, 2009
#31
“The AA12 is a tactical automatic shotgun. And yes, that is probably the only time you will ever hear ‘tactical’ and ’shotgun’ in the same sentence”
This guys a tard that has been living under rock. Tactical Shotgun is a very common term. any combat shotgun is a tactical shotgun. the writer of the needs to know the difference between Tactical and surgical!
June 6, 2009
#32
Damn, wtf, you took the words right off my fingertips. Although it took something like 30 comments for someone to finally say it. Good job.
tactical does not = surgical.
April 1, 2009
#33
Oh my, you are either failing miserably at sarcasm, or failing miserably at life. The military definition of “tactical” is far different than what you came up with in what was probably 10 seconds of research. Every one of these weapons have uses in the tactical sense. Please don’t write about things you have no knowledge of. Unnecessary inclusion of the word “fuck” does not make things better for you, either. The bit about the shotgun was especially bad. Almost every police cruiser in the USA has a shotgun, which is VERY useful in the tactical sense. They’re intimidating (good for “talking” bad guys out of doing something stupid without any shots being fired), they can be loaded with a variety of projectiles, both lethal and non-lethal, and they have a wide dispersion. The military does not use them extensively due to their shortcomings, which the AA12 addresses fabulously. With “modern combat” being predominately urban and close quarters, tactical shotguns are the natural choice.
April 2, 2009
#34
I think your missing a big point here. Yes tactical typically means a smaller target, response, etc. However it is also an adjective which means it is modifying the noun it is with. In the case of tactical nuke the tactical nuke is in fact tactical because it is used for a smaller more precise target than a regular nuke. It’s the comparing point that makes it tactical. Obviously a tactical nuke is not tactical when compared to a grenade but who would ever make that comparison anyway?
April 2, 2009
#35
You’re mistaking the idea of tactical weapons with precise weapons that only hit a small target. Tactical can be on a large scale, such as the M-388 Davy Crockett or any/all of the other ideas mentioned. Even the AA12 shotgun would be tactical since you choose to only accept the definition of a weapon being used ‘at the front’, which is obviously what a shotgun is for. For instance, a shotgun cannot be used effectively 3000m from the front line… John, you’re unbelievably out of your league here.
April 3, 2009
#36
A clarification on tactical nuclear weapons.
As opposed to the nuclear bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki, a tactical nuke is designed to be useful on targets smaller than a city. As was mentioned before in the comments, they were originally intended to be used against an entire armored division.
Tactical = useful on the battlefield.
Strategic = useful for total nuclear war.
This is not their only difference however.
Many tactical nuclear devices lack a neutron shield. Turning it into what is known as an advanced radiation weapon. This design retards the explosive force, but causes massive ionizing radiation.
This type of bomb is effective against armored troops, since tanks are highly resistant to the heat and shock wave of a conventional bomb.
History channel bitches!
Ya learn shit!
April 3, 2009
#37
nigga suck myazz bitchez yall aint got shit on this pimp dick
April 3, 2009
#38
The US is Bankrupt!!! Obama Deception. Government conspiracies, lies and more at digivexed dot livejournal dot com (replace word dot with an actual period)
April 4, 2009
#39
Zach:
‘ “Metal Storm Limited is a defence technology company that develops projectile launching systems utilising its unique, electronically fired, stacked projectile technology.”
2 misspellings in one sentence, now that is a company I would trust with destructive TACnology ‘
If you’d come up out of your mother’s basement once in a while, you might realize that most of the world doesn’t spell things the same as Americans. Thus, “defence” and “utilising” are the norm in the majority of the English-speaking realm. Next you’re going to start in on colour and humour?
April 5, 2009
#40
This article is dumb.
April 8, 2009
#41
Written by someone who will never have to use a weapon, because smarter people will do it for you.
Moron.
June 1, 2009
#42
You’re joking right?
July 17, 2009
#43
It is abunduntly obvious that You have never been in a firefight facing extream odds………the shotgun would be a blessing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
October 1, 2009
#44
“Claimed a 110,00 lives when they were about to surrender…” huh? How about the Japanese post-Invasion plans to equip every man, woman, and child with weapons and fight to the last. That is what Hideki Tojo and the rest of his miltary Junta planned to do. Do you know the estimates for Allied casualties during the planned invasion of Japan? One Million, and the Japanese were estimated at several MILLION. Several million lives to 110,000, a decent ratio!?! I think the use of nukes is justified, Truman didn’t even want to use them. Remember he refused to use them on China in the Korean War, Truman even fired MacArthur over that (Headlines from the day “TRUMAN FIRES MAC!”) So quit hiding in your “I’m a pussy-hole” and realize we do what must be done to end wars…..jackass
November 8, 2009
#45
I don’t think you actually know what the term “tactical” means. Just because it’s big, mean, and makes a big bang doesn’t mean it’s not tactical. It simply means that it’s the best thing for the job and when performing MOUT operations the AA-12 would be the perfect thing for the job. Another example would be the task of laying a mine field in under an hour. It’s not as simple as digging a hole and tossing it in. The TMD would be ideal for this task. It’s not a cluster-bomb as you so ignorantly stated. It’s actually exactly what it says, a MUNITION DISPENSER! It drops 100′s of anti-personnel land mines (which saves many back-breaking hours of labor). And by the way, the mine in the “Schrapnell mine” (which is spelled wrong) that you described is an American FRAGMENTATION mine known as the M16A1 “Bouncing Betty.”
A wise NCO once told me it’s better to remain silent and be thought an idiot then to open your mouth and remove all doubt. If you don’t believe what I’ve told you then I suggest you go talk to a combat engineer. He’ll educate you.
November 11, 2009
#46
have you Americans ever noticed how your government only pics wars with countries with few, if any warplanes,,,,,,,,,,,no nuclear missiles,,,,,,,,, just imagine if another superpower decided to whack you with the shit you dropped on Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan ?
November 14, 2009
#47
In that scenario, we’d all mourn the losses, average Joe would get furious, some would Liberals burn flags and whine about war and hell and “why can’t we have peace?” (and then get shot), and Conservatives laugh and talk big about “that attack was only a scratch at America’s power” or some BS (and be praised for “Patriotism” [hiding in their bunkers]), and then, for the finale, nuke the living shit out of whoever hit us (and then the old East Bloc, China, N. Korea, all of the Middle East, and maybe Cuba too).
Yeah.
Or, we would just tweet about how some asshole blowing the freeway up (along with the rest of L.A., Portland, Seattle, Denver (no more omelets =/), Miami, NYC, and other population centers) made us all late to work today.
Woohoo U.S.A.!
December 26, 2009
#48
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