Recession stopping you from getting laid?

Everyone is pinching pennies right now to save a buck, its not easy.  This means that those of you who aren’t in steady relationships are pretty much screwed when it comes to wining and dining.

Sure, an unhappy married couple who is about to lose their home have it hard, but they can also get it on after watching The Office on a Thursday night (assuming their cable hasn’t been turned off).

In modern society there is usually a standard 3 date minimum before you get the pleasure of seeing that special someone spread eagled after 6 cosmos.  Sadly, those 3 dates can really set you back.

1. Dinner = $50-$100
2. Movie + snacks = $40
3. Drinks = $30-$50

Now multiply those by 3 and you’re looking at how much it will roughly cost you to get laid.  Even a cheap hooker, which will cost you a fraction of that, is still too much.

Before you give up hope, blow the dust off of your Myspace account and give this a try.

Tools needed:

1. Myspace Account
2. Any type of typing macro (such as typeitin)
3. Firefox browser
4. About 40 minutes of free time
5. Confidence (you’re about to spam the shit out of random chicks, you will get rejected a lot)

Step 1) After you login to Myspace select ‘browse people’ under friends.  You should set your search up like this.

I’ve drawn arrows pointing at the fields you need to edit.  You can edit the age as you see fit as long as you stay above age 18. Make sure you select single and divorced, not just single.  Set the zip code to a 5 mile radius, then select women who drink (unless you think you can pull this off sober).  You don’t have to mess with the children option either but I’ve noticed that girls with kids are a bit more responsible.  Thus, making it difficult to seal an easy fling.

Step 2) Now setup your macro.  You’ll need a line of text for the subject, and one for the body.  This is where you need to be creative.  I was lazy and it showed in my negative results.  My subject was “wanna fuck” and my body was “no strings just sex”?

Step 3) Now turn down the volume on your PC.  90% of these profiles will have some atrocious song blaring as soon as you pull them up.  Using Firefox to ctrl + click, open as many profiles as you can.

Step 4) Hit the send message option as soon as the profile comes up, hit your macro for the subject, press tab, now hit your macro for the text body, hit send and you’re done.

Some profiles you may want to skip for certain reasons.  I will show you an example of one I had to skip:

It is possible that she had just lost someone close.  Because I have a heart, I went ahead and skipped this one.  I’m sure we’ll cross cyber paths again, when she doesn’t have RIP in her user name.

Conclusion: I’m not going to lie, I didn’t actually get laid using this method, but I did get some good responses.  Four out of fifty isn’t bad, even if it is just an “lol” and a smiley face.

A friend on the other hand did get some good results.  Here is the pitch he used:

Eventually, that turned into this:

Final Thoughts: Delivery is key.  Be creative with your message but don’t spend too much time on it.  Pretend you’re on a dock and you’ve got 50 fishing poles in the water.  You really don’t give two shits if one fish gets away, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be focused while applying the bait.

Now go out there and make me proud.  First person to comment on this post with a success story and proof, gets a Russell Peters CD/DvD combo.  Yes I’m serious.