Last year myself and 3 buddies headed to Vegas for the weekend. We got a pretty cool room and started the night early. A lot of shit went down that night and by 1am or so everyone is wasted. We were also now accompanied by a group of girls that we had met earlier.
I was hooking up with a girl who seemed pretty cool at the time. The music was kind of loud so we would just sort of make out every few min.
So all of the guys decide we should invite them back to our place, they accept. I hooked up with the girl who had been clinging to me. I am fairly certain I forgot to wear a rubber.
Upon waking up the next morning I looked over and noticed that when the sun light hit this girls face, there was actually like a mustache. Not a few fuzzies like some girls get, there was actual hair. Then at breakfast I noticed that her lip was fucked up too. Yes she had a hair lip and talked somewhat muffled. I honestly thought she was talking that way because she was so drunk.
Here comes the worst part. As they were leaving everyone was doing the awkward number exchanging. She asked me for mine so I did what anyone would have in my position, and I gave her the wrong number. Unfortunately she then says “here let me call you then you will have mine”. Instead of realizing I gave her the wrong number on purpose she asks what the number is again.
I’m like “oh shit I sometimes still give out my old number”.
My buddies said she looked like Sloth from Goonies so rest of the weekend I heard “HEY YOU GUYS!”
Dear Sean, lets look at the bright side for a moment. You were an excellent wingman unknowingly, and you gave that poor girl the best night of her life. Sure you messed up a bit at the end when it came to the number exchange, but anyone could have made that mistake. Some say “if you haven’t placed your penis into something that could pass as sloth from the Goonies then you really haven’t lived.” You my friend, have lived.