Yesterday I witnessed something amazing. Most of you won’t believe me, but its true. I was outside in a residential neighborhood when I began to hear the growl of a big engine and the thumping of sub woofers. A few moments later a gigantic lifted Chevy passes by. So what was the song that he had all cranked up? Probably like Godsmack or something right? Wrong, it was this.
Having ADD means I would forget about this within a few minutes so I quickly texted the words “princess truck” to myself. Just now I opened my phone and it all came spilling back. Another thing that sucks about having ADD is that you can’t stay focused on just one thi…oh sweet I just found a dollar in my shorts!
Getting right to the point, we feel that its time to develop some rules for guys who drive these lifted trucks.
1) Center Console – What items are acceptable to have on or inside the center console of a lifted truck?
- Mountain Dew in a Big Gulp
- Shot gun shells
- Leatherman tool
- Hair spray
- Diet Freska (unless the container is being used as a spittoon)
- Drakkar Noir Eau de Toilette Spray
- Hand sanitizer
2) Mirror Area – What should be seen on or around the rear view mirror?
- Radar detector
- Dog tags
- Ex-girlfriends panties (only when pulled up next to her at a red light)
- Dream catcher
- Any type of mirror cover with a theme
3) Music Selection – What type of music should be coming from within the cab of a huge truck?
- Motley Crew
- Any song from the Chronic album
- Jonas Brothers
- Kelly Clarkson
I also have a few issues with those fake testicles that dangle from bumpers, but we’ll save that analysis for another day.
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