Comments on: Tigers Maul Zookeeper

By: 7 Jobs No One In Their Right Mind Would Want : Regretful Morning

7 Jobs No One In Their Right Mind Would Want : Regretful Morning — Sat, 07 Mar 2009 02:13:53 +0000

[...] I know what you’re thinking, you’ve always dreamed of owning your own zoo. You know, for the shit throwing monkeys and the tiger rides. But zoo keepers don’t own zoos, they work there. The typical zoo keepers duties typically include cleaning elephant shit-mountains, cleaning windows in the penguin cage, and removing the flung monkey poo from sidewalks. Other duties include cleaning the bathrooms, standing at a ticket counter all day, and mowing the grass in the lion cage. The best part? You get paid an average of $18k a year for your troubles, and no insurance to replace any limbs lost to prey animals. [...]

By: Carrie Burrows

Carrie Burrows — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 20:08:59 +0000

“DIS WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT BRINGING US TUNA!”

By: Jason

Jason — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 01:58:42 +0000

Manswers is awesome.

By: Razlo3000

Razlo3000 — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 00:56:47 +0000

I actually saw on Manswers how to handle this situation.

HOW TO SURVIVE A TIGER ATTACK

1) GO FOR THE NOSE
A tiger has a very sensitive nose. if you were to punch, kick or even bite that fucker, he might let off.

2) GAG REFLEX
Tigers have a very sensitive gag reflex. If you stuff your fist inside its mouth it will gag like a bitch, giving you a window of escape. Don’t want to put your hand in its mouth? Lets face it your in a fucking bad scenario as it is.

3) PLAY DEAD.
Yeah, fuck that. I’m going out fighting.

By: meeee

meeee — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 02:37:57 +0000

hence why they are WILD tigers…rawwwwwr!!!

By: DeathWish808

DeathWish808 — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:43:19 +0000

@Mike

This your first day on the internet?

Welcome, please come again!

By: Ferocious Tiger

Ferocious Tiger — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:30:20 +0000

I told him I wanted steak, he didn’t listen.

By: kudos

kudos — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 21:15:16 +0000

This guy was not a zookeeper, he was a janitor for the Singapore Zoo. And he wasn’t in there at the “wrong time”, he intended to kill himself by doing this, and that is what he got. He walked into the exhibit and swung a broom around at the tigers to get them all riled up. It worked. The original news article is here: http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_302154.html

By: Jason

Jason — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 20:51:21 +0000

For real DeathWish – you’re so fucking insensitive!

By: P1 Junior

P1 Junior — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 20:50:24 +0000

Mike Hawk on December 8th, 2008 4:18 pm
“Unfortunately for him, screaming like a little baby didn’t help matters.
Next time be a man and fight back. Wuss!”

Wow, I wanna see you being held down by two tigers that could rip your sack off with one flick of their paw and try not to scream.

Learn to fucking have sympathy for others you stupid chum bucket.

Hey DOUCHEBAG…REGRETFUL MORNING, We laugh at your MISFORTUNE. You must have mis-clicked when you were trying to get to HugsforHomos.com on your favorites list