The Art and Understanding of Teabagging
December 23, 2008 · Print This Article
Teabag 1
| teabagg·ed, teabagg·ing, teabags v. intr.
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Many say that teabagging spawned as a gaming term. This is false. Others say it started with the Romans. This is also not true.
Teabagging started in the Garden of Eden a few hours after Eve fucked up and ate the apple.
The man and the woman were naked and felt no shame until the serpent convinced the woman to eat the fruit of the forbidden tree. After Eve shared the fruit with Adam, the couple became aware of their nakedness. They covered themselves with fig leaves and hid from God in embarrassment. God asked Adam (Genesis 3:11): “Who told you that you were naked? Did you eat of the tree from which I had forbidden you to eat?”
2 minutes after Adam covered himself up, he spotted Eve drinking from a creek. This is when he said to himself “man this hoe got us booted”, walked over to her, lifted his fig leaf, tapped her on the shoulder, and performed a flawless teabag.
Teabagging is awesome (unless you’re on the receiving end as Eve quickly learned).
There are 3 types of teabag(s) that are used in modern society.
1) The Accidental – The accidental teabag is where someone gets a mouth full of sack at the result of something unexpected. Being on the receiving end of an accidental teabag brings embarrassment, not shame. It is also the most enjoyable to witnesses.
Classic Clip – Paramedic Teabags Soccer Guy – Watch more Free Videos
2) The Pwn - The pwn is what happens when someone or something gets defeated in online competition. Instead of celebrating with a victory dance, gamers will often kneel over a corpse many times. This is an act of dominance. Being on the receiving end of this type of teabag will often result in anger.
3) The Sexual – Sexual teabags (and the girlfriends who allow them) rank right up there with bacon, sliced bread, winning the lottery, lazy boy recliners, and taking a dump. I am unsure of what the feelings are after a sexual teabag has been performed on you, so if one of the female readers can enlighten us, that would be great.
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How has the history never been explored before?
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Tanya, could you weigh in on the last few lines? Thanks dear!
I wrestled in highschool and was a HUGE fan of this move. Worked like a Trojan.
I am guilty of teabagging boys I pwn in Halo 3… all. the. time.
Don’t judge me.
What about the art of Cyber Tea-Bagging a la Halo?
If you’d like to see a hilarious video about the GUY WHO GOT TRAMPLED TO DEATH AT WALMART, check it out only at Digital Funtown:
http://blog.digitalfuntown.com/dft-blog/2009/1/13/little-billys-got-a-secret.html
I mean, uh, in addition to what you wrote above? ;-)