Large Intestine: Dear Christmas

Dear Christmas,

Just thought I’d drop you a quick line and tell you how much fun its been again this year.   Sometimes we lose site of the things that really matter – baby Jesus, friends/family, caroling, pushing 7 pounds of digested ham into the toilet etc.

I was wondering if I could get you to do me a gigantic favor?  Thanksgiving and I have an unwritten rule between us and I was hoping we could start something along the same lines.  You see, Thanksgiving does a number on me as well, but he will make up for it by offering corn.  Corn gets the turkey ‘moving’ if you know what I mean.  Basically, Thanksgiving adds corn to his turkey and in return, I shut the fuck up.

So anyway – I was hoping that…brb something is coming

(15 minutes later)

Like I was saying…fuck brb

(7 minutes later)

Looks like that was the last of it.  I’ll talk to you next year.

Sincerely,

Large Intestine

ps – cousin colon says hi