I took a long hard look at this thing before inching my way toward metro sexuality.

The last few times that we’ve gone out, I’ve come home empty handed (despite buying a shit load of drinks for the ones who have vaginas). This gave me a hygiene complex. I’ve determined that even if you’re putting more drinks on your tab than a frat boy at happy hour, you won’t be a hit with the ladies if you smell like armpits and assholes.

I gave this thing a whirl the other night and I’m telling you; If I never see another piece of ass again, this will still be the best investment my ball sack has ever seen. Your balls will literally jump for joy when you do the old scrub n’ lather (they won’t actually jump, you’ll have to give them a gentle flick from behind with your index finger).

I started to convince myself that this thing wasn’t really girlie at all. I mean, its called a detailer – and detailing shit is manly.

For grins I told my sister

Me: Hey, I bought this sponge thing the other day, what do chicks think of dudes who use a Luffah?

Her: (makes motion to hi-5) Its cool, I voted no on prop 8 as well.