UT3 Vs. Halo Dance Off

December 31, 2008

You got served, bitches! I am almost ashamed to say that the UT3 chick gave me a small amount of arousal.

Attn Parents: Before you go out tonight

December 31, 2008

Please make sure you do a thorough background check on your babysister(s) this NYE. Sure a teddy bear this cute looks pretty harmless, but the trauma he will inflict is beyond your imagination. The extra money you spend on a baby sitter with a good reputation will save you thousands in future therapy sessions.

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How can she slap [Remix]

December 30, 2008

If anyone remembers this scene from an Indian reality TV show (where a bitch TV hosts slaps one of the contestants) you will appreciate this remix.

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Tramp Stamp Tuesday

December 30, 2008

Have a good tramp stamp pic we should post? Throw it on the forums or drop us an email. Check out last weeks tramp stamp.

Last Link Dump of the year!
Sexy Catwoman candidates – MF
Game of freezetag doesn’t end so well – CH
Elle MacPherson bikini pics – CT

Cat Juggling WTF? – AJ
Jumping over bulls what? – FH
Lamest sports commentator puns – HT

Best fails of 2008 – NR
Dania Ramirez Maxim shoot – BBI
How not to get shot at the movies – YY
Big pimpin McDonald style – SH

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Attempted back flip ends in faceplant

December 29, 2008

I guess next time they’ll want to make sure the jump has enough lip to clear that giant hill of snow.

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Heather Mills gets sued

December 29, 2008

What goes around comes around you evil bitch. Poor Paul is hopefully laughing his ass off right now after what you did to him.

now a former nanny Mills hired to look after daughter Beatrice is suing the former Mrs. Paul McCartney.

The nanny, Sara Trumble, claims that Mills required her to blow-dry Mills’ hair, work unreasonable hours, and spray-tan a naked Mills.

A spokesperson for Mills told the British press, “Heather is devastated that Sara, who Heather considered a part of her family, should choose to level these accusations at her. This claim will be vigorously defended.” – source

Having to spray tan Heather Mills would suck, having to see her naked would be mortifying. The way I see it, you owe her some back pay.

mills_leg

Looks like the evil nanny has learned from the best.

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5 People you will meet on New Years Eve

December 29, 2008

New Years Eve aka another reason to get completely hammered is referred to by many as rookie night. On this night, everyone who is legal drinking age (and a selected few with good fake id’s) will be partaking in the largest pre-hangover they will experience all year. This night alone is why 55% of young adults make it their resolution to stop drinking the following morning. Lets take a look at some of the people you will undoubtedly bump in to before the night is over.

Annoying Party Favor Dude – This guy will be blowing on one of those party favor horns like hes trying to signal for help, while hes on a life raft in the Pacific.

party-favors

Nothing says happy New Year like the loss of hearing you’re about to receive via air blower horn thingy 2 inches from your ear. To top it off he will be pulling apart those party exploders at a rate of at least 2 per minute.

The Crying Chick – The crying chick will start to remember her holiday break up after screw driver number 2. This means that she will have a group of girls around her at all times trying to comfort her with words of wisdom like “fuck him you can do soooo much better”, “his new girl is such a skank you are so much prettier” and my personal favorite “you should just fuck some random cute guy”.

crying-woman-small

The last line is my favorite because after 4 more shots, every dude in the bar becomes “a random cute guy”. If you can handle the drama, keep an eye on this one.

The Guy That Doesn’t Want to be Bothered – This guy probably showed up alone. Hes wearing a button down shirt that he just picked up at sears and hes ready to play the ‘cool n’ quiet’ type. Sadly, the cool quiet type will go unnoticed all night.

quiet-guy

Sometime after the count down he will accept failure and start pounding double Jagers. By 1:30 am he will have told 7 strangers and 3 bartenders how he was molested by his father at age 9. At 2:41 am, his cab driver sees an opening with the now sobbing emo douche. At 2:46 am he will have reenacted his child hood trauma with a cab driver named Mitch – happy New Year!

The Obvious whore who doesn’t like her tits stared at – Its December 31st which means its fucking cold. Despite the snow banks and icy roads outside, this little gem will wear next to nothing.

whore

They could make a real men of genius commercial with girls like this; “30 degree weather, a frost bitten toe, nipples that can cut glass, these minor weather hazards won’t stop this diva from almost showing you her tits all night”. But don’t stare. Don’t you dare fucking stare. She is not a piece of meat and she’ll let you know.

Metro dude with fucked up hair – Chances are there will be more than one. They travel in packs like Hyenas and they’re extremely awesome in their own mind. If you take a date to this years party, don’t leave her in the vicinity of fucked up hair dude while you’re taking a piss.

lee_hotti_list_view

Much like how a hyena smells an injured gazelle, these clowns will surround a girl standing by herself. Before you’ve even finished shaking it, your date will be bombarded with talk of BMW’s, wealth, and fame. Just remember, the male lion does not fear the hyena.

Other stuff to waste time on:
Top 20 Pedo Bears of 2008
5 retarded acts of drinking
50 reasons not to over drink
Wasted guy gets molested by puppy
This kid is starting young

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