Apocalypse Turkey
November 30, 2008
New episodes of TBS Unrated every Sunday from the guys who write Thatdbesweet (updated twice weekly). Check out the last episode of TBS Unrated here.
What do you call a Canadian Camel Toe?
November 29, 2008
A Montreal Moose Knuckle.
Weekend Link Dump:
Avoid traffic tickets – College Humor
Veronica Hugo is hot – Camel Tap
Retarded thong tat – 13gb
Overheard at the holidays – Holy Taco
Dumb hot chicks talk internetz – Funny Hub
Skater almost nailed by bus – Fugly
Why can’t I get a gf like this? – Evil Milk
Redneck dirtbike fail – DumpaLink
Gothopotamus – Daily haha
Video of the year – YepYep
10 things not to do on Thanksgiving break – Boosh Magazine
Frog porn – Funniez
Define irony – Steven Humour
Bruce Lee Plays Ping Pong
November 29, 2008
Bruce Lee was a true badass…even at ping pong.
6 Hangover cures in cereal form
November 29, 2008
An exciting night of drinking always has its head pounding aftermath. Some turn to Advil, some will stay bed ridden, and others will turn to Google search and type ‘hang over cures’. The fancy herbal remedies are all bullshit, and I’ll tell you why. 90% of us who spent a good portion of the previous night playing beer pong, don’t have access to goat testicle tea, or oshii wild boar cornhole tinctures. However, most of us have access to cereal - so here is a hand picked selection of multigrain goodness for your hangover needs.
6) All-Bran
Some people don’t like to vomit, so this one is right up your alley. 9.6 grams of dietary fiber per serving will have that barley and 2 A.M. double cheeseburger moving through your system before you can say “I shit my pants”. Accompany a bowl of this with a glass of water and you’re on your way to a productive Sunday of doing nothing.
5) Count Chocula
For those of you who don’t have time to wait and need to start your work day immediately, we suggest these morsels of chocolaty awesomeness. 47 grams of sugar per serving on top of that Red Bull you’re about to guzzle will give you that much needed zip to get shit done. The down side here is that you will probably start to crash after a few hours. If you time it right this will happen around lunch, which is the perfect time for a front seat nap.
4) Corn Chex
Unfortunately Corn Chex are about as bland as a monotone math teacher. The upside is that you’re just a few ingredients shy of ‘Chex Mix’. Chex mix can be munched on all day long, keeping your metabomism and disgestive tracts going at a steady pace. It is also easier to handle then a shakey spoon and milk (if your dexterity has not quite returned). Spill a bowl of these on your roommates Xbox and it will go unnoticed, add milk and you’re looking at a beatdown.
3) Lucky Charms
Vitamin B6? You bet your ass we’ve got vitamin B6. A whole 1.67 MG’s of ass kicking B6. Now add marshmellows and a box that is fun to look at…there is a god. Sadly, Lucky Charms also give you that sugar crash. The pros here clearly out wiegh the cons, which is why this amazing little lebrachcan takes spot #3.
2) CAP’N Crunch
These Riboflavin packed mouth cutting squares could part the Red Sea if they wanted to. Aside from being full of Riboflavin and Niacin, staring at a box of CAP’N Crunch is bound to have you making pirate noises by the end of your meal. Speaking like a pirate can brighten even the rainiest of days. It is also completely acceptable to place a few handfuls into a zip lock bag and take them to work with you. When a co-worker asks “Uhh are you eating cereal in a bag?” Your response of “Dude its CAP’N Crunch” will shut them up instantly.
1) Fruity Pebbles
Surprised to see Fruity Pebbles take the number one position? Don’t be. Fruity cereal is the polar opposite of what a hungover stomach wants. The nutritional intake your body receives from a bowl of these is about as useless as the reproductive organs on mother Theresa. Too soon? Once the cold milk and fruity colored rice hits your stomach your bound to start feeling even worse. You’ll spend the next 45 minutes praying to the porcelain gods. The first wave of rainbow colored vomit triggers your super puke which is something that can’t be done with a simple finger to the throat. Before you know it, you’re looking at yesterdays breakfast, lunch, and dinner. You make a quick promise to yourself that you’re completely over drinking, take 2 IBuprofen, and a trip to your parents house for an actual meal. You’ve just recovered in 2 hours and gave up drinking, all thanks to 7 spoon fulls of Fruity Pebbles.
Popular Today:
Apocalypse Turkey - Regretful Morning
Avoid traffic tickets – College Humor
Veronica Hugo is hot – Camel Tap
Retarded thong tat – 13gb
Overheard at the holidays – Holy Taco
Dumb hot chicks talk internetz – Funny Hub
Skater almost nailed by bus – Fugly
Why can’t I get a gf like this? – Evil Milk
Redneck dirtbike fail – DumpaLink
Gothopotamus – Daily haha
Video of the year – YepYep
10 things not to do on Thanksgiving break – Boosh Magazine
Frog porn – Funniez
Define irony – Steven Humour
Drunk Chicks can be talked into anything
November 28, 2008
After rifling through some bar footage I’ve taken over the last few months, I found this one from Halloween.
It then occurred to me that you can pretty much talk a drunk chick into doing anything. A tight lip grocery clerk by day can turn into Chasey Lane in under 4 Cosmos.
What is it in alcohol that makes the ‘no bullshit’ lady from HR jump on top of a table and dance during happy hour? Its a fascinating mystery and we feel that its time to harness this power. We need to make alcohol available in pill form. We’ll label them “super cool chick pills that make you hotter”. Pharmacies couldn’t keep enough of these in stock. A females daily vitamin routine would look like this: Vitamin C 500 MG, Vitamin B-12 500 MG, birth control, super cool chick pill that makes you hotter.
Think about the awesomeness for a moment. Lets say you get called into HR for making “sexual advances” on a co-worker. Instead of getting a write up, you receive a Hi-5. Come to think of it, you would never have been sent to HR because your sexual advances would have been accepted with flattery.
Before we pitch the major pharmaceutical companies, lets take a quick look at the cons:
Drama
Too drunk in the bathroom – Watch more Free Videos
I changed my mind.
Bartender Gets Facial
November 28, 2008
By the looks of this douche it’s probably not the first time he’s been on the receiving end.
Insane Driving Skills
November 28, 2008
Show me a woman that can do this and I’ll show you she had a sex change.
Turkey Porn
November 27, 2008
Legs spread and freshly eaten…om nom nom.
Hopefully everyone has already filled their bellies because after watching this, its going to be hard to swallow all of that dark meat.
In other Thanksgiving related news: Those little belt buckles that Pilgrims have on their hats are now explained.
Beatboxer Surprises Everyone
November 26, 2008
We randomly stopped this guy and asked if he had any talents and he surprises us with a pretty damn good beatboxing routine.
5 Retarded Acts of Drinking
November 26, 2008
Retarded acts of drinking are nothing like the conventional ‘drinking game’. They cannot be classified as drinking games because there is really no way to win. Peer pressure, bad judgment, and a need for attention will almost guarantee that you’ll be the moron performing one of these acts. We’ve singled out 5 of the most pointless, so that you may think back to this article when you’re being hoisted high above a keg this weekend.
5) The Shotgun
How To: Puncture bottom of beer can, place your mouth on the opening, and open the beer. This results in beer flowing into your mouth at high rates of speed.
You would be better off: Just drinking a beer fast. Shotgunning a beer leaves about 1/4 of your beer on the floor. Unless you live in a frat house or trailer park there is no reason to shotgun a beer.
4) The Kegstand
How To: Place hands on top of keg and let others lift your legs high above you. One person will be designated to put the beer nozzle in your mouth once you are in a hand stand position.
You would be better off:
Pouring the beer into a cup like everyone else. If hand stands are what you’re after, you can try one after you’ve guzzled 6 or 7 beers (preferably near the fire pit). No one wants your saliva in their beer, the only reason people agree to assist with keg stands is for the possibility of epic failure.
Another Failed Keg Stand – Watch more Free Videos
3) 40 Hands
How To: Tape a 40 to each of your hands. Use duct tape and make sure it is impossible to remove the 40’s without assistance.
You would be better off: Just drinking one 40 at a time. The idea of 40 hands is to drink 80 ounces of beer before you can use your hands again. Well, most of us know that after a few beers nature will let us know that its our turn to piss all over someones bathroom. Asking for immunity would result in a list of insults (usually involving female genitalia). The only way to get out of that duct tape is to drink, and drink fast. 80 ounces of booze in your stomach in a matter of minutes is no picnic, yet this game is probably being played right now somewhere in the world.
2) The Beer Bong
How To: Pour beer into funnel, attach mouth to hose, and guzzle.
You would be better off: Much like the shotgun, beer bongs are incredibly wasteful. If its the oral fixation you’re after; then remove the hose, and place it into a large cup of beer. Use it like a straw, and be less wasteful. If you look anything like the girl above, I suggest you tongue the tip of the hose in between drinking. This will let everyone know that even though you failed at Jenny Craig, you’re still #1 in other areas.
1) The Flaming Shot
How To: Pour shot, light shot on fire, blow fire out, and take the shot.
You would be better off: Actually if you follow the rules above, you will be fine. Flaming shots are there to dazzle, and you’re ready to become the center of attention. Show everyone in the room that you’re smarter than a caveman from the Geiko commercials, and blow the fucking flame out first. If you don’t thats fine, just be sure to get it on tape.
Idiot Spills Flaming Shot – Watch more Free Videos
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