Beer Ad Photoshop Contest

Create Unappealing Beer Ad

Alright photoshoppers, heres your shot to make some quick pocket change while making us laugh.

Rules are pretty simple:

1) Create an unappealing beer ad (ie: something that you would not want to drink).  You may submit more than one.  Make sure you shrink it to 480 pixels wide or less.

2) Post it on the forums here

3) Winner gets $25.  Must have a paypal account if you want to get paid.

4) Contest ends on 10/10/08 – Winners will be contacted via forum PM.

Weekend Link Dump

Brainstorming – Collegehumor

Slippers Prank – CreepyGif

Not a smart woman driver – DumpaLink

Another Pass Out victim – Evil Milk

Creative Neighbor – Fugly

Steroid Freak loves himself – Dailyhaha

Puppy Takes Advantage of Passed Out Guy

This puppy knows whats up.  Everything within reach is fair game.  Do yourself a favor and rinse the nacho cheese out of your mouth before passing out in the future.

The 2008 Break College Video Contest – Watch more free videos

Tramp Stamp Update

I’ve been getting a few emails asking me if I am still working on the tramp stamp article that I mentioned here.  The short answer, yes.  Basically I’ve been telling random girls at bars that I work for “Tattoo Magazine” (some fake company that I made up), and we’d like to get some footage of their lower back tattoo’s, what they mean to them, and why they got them.

I thought for sure that this was going to be easy, but I’ve run into some hang ups.  Most of the time its because I’m completely trashed by the end of the night and I forget about the mission at hand.  Other times its because the music is too loud, an angry boyfriend knows its bullshit, or the girls flat out tell me to “fuck off”.

Heres a little piece that will not make the cut.  This video was at some random taco shop at 2am.  Adaleena did not find us amusing at all.  Never the less, you can see I am making a valient effort to get some good tramp stamp footage, despite an epic fail from time to time.

Lesbian Chick Is not amused – Watch more free videos

The good news is….

The last thing you want after a raging party, is your parents coming home to a train wreck of a house.  This is somewhat bitter sweet.

5 Shots That Will Instantly Revoke Your Man Card

Girlie drinks are bitter sweet.  On one hand they taste great.  On the other, they make you look like you would share a Root Beer float with a construction worker, wearing nothing but a pair of cut off jean shorts.

We’re going to break down some of the top “chick drinks” that you should not be ordering at bars (unless they are for someone who has a vagina).  We will also show you how to make them, just in case you find yourself behind the serving end of a bar.

5) Kamikaze

The Kamikaze has gotten guys laid that normally do not get laid.  Sorority girls from coast to coast are pouring these down the hatch as we speak.  The Kamikaze is usually consumed as a shot, but can also be served as a drink (recommended for boring dinner dates).

How to Make:

1 part Lime Juice
1 part Triple Sec
2 parts Vodka

Mix in a shaker with ice and pour into shot glasses.

4) Red Headed Slut

Ordering one of these vixens is tempting.  Just the right amount of kick, with none of the throat burn.  We won’t judge you if you do give in and order one, but don’t be surprised if Richard Simmons approaches you for a game of patty cake.

How to Make:

6 parts Cranberry Juice
1 part Peach Schnapps
1 part Jagermeister

Mix together in a shaker and pour into a shot glass – If you want a stronger shot use less Cranberry juice, this also works as a standard cocktail for the ladies.

3) Lemon Drop

Ordering one for the ladies is smart.  Ordering one for yourself is another way of saying “Hi I’m looking for the all male Fireman’s costume party”.  Lemon Drops are easy to keep track of.  If the raspy voiced hottie you’re hanging out with is tossing these back via double, its the equivalent of a regular shot of vodka.  4 or 5 of these should lead to a successful night.

How to Make:

1 part Lemon Juice
1 part Vodka
1 Teaspoon sugar

Moisten inside of a glass with a piece of lemon, then coat glass with sugar.  Add chilled Vodka.

2) Jello Shots

At social gatherings, it is permitted to accept a Jello Shot (if it is handed to you).  You should not under any circumstances order these on a guys night out.  Doing so, can and will banish you from all future “guys nights”.  Knowing how to make a Jello Shot is quintessential for a long list of self explanatory reasons.

How to Make:

1 package Watermelon jell-o
1 cup boiling water
1 cup Malibu(R) coconut rum (You can also sub Vodka)

Refrigerate until it hardens as you would regular jell-o.

1) Jolly Rancher

If you dream of one day brushing Fabio’s long blond hair, then yes, order these like they are going out of style.  Otherwise steer clear.  There is an upside to ordering the Jolly Rancher, and they can often be used to your advantage.  Have you ever heard the line “Sorry I don’t do shots”?  Its often spouted out by females who take on the over protective-roommate/cock block role.  Your reply should ALWAYS be – “Thats fine, I’ll just order you a Jolly Rancher”.  Dumbfounded she will accept, and after a handful, it should be smooth sailing.

Please note this mans expression.  He is not smiling because he enjoys his dates company.  He is smiling because he knows that he only has to order 4 more in order to seal the deal.

How to Make:

2 parts Apple vodka
1 part of Citrus vodka
1 part of Apple schnapps
1 part Ice

Fill a shaker with ice.  Pour the one-half ounce of apple schnapps into the shaker. add both the half ounce of citrus vodka and one ounce of apple vodka.  Shake to chill.  Pour into shot glasses and serve.

Have an unmanly drink you’d like to add to the list?  Share it below.  Also, thanks to the folks over at SizzUp who showed us how to mix these up.

This Kangaroo kicks ass!

One Crazy Kangaroo – Watch more free videos

The Consequences of Sex

Addendum to the self sex portion:

1) The Tube Sock Squirt

2) The Kleenex Road Block

3) The Bathwater blues

Share your addendum’s below!

Weekend Link Dump

Roommate Dish Washing Schedule and Flow Chart – College Humor

2 Girls 1 Cup (Don’t worry its SFW) – CreepyGif

Ode to Embarressment Contest – SizzUp

Impossible to Teabag – Evil Milk

Where you shouldn’t park your car – Fugly

Very Friendly Dolphin – Dailyhaha

Budlight Lime Commercial – MINDFVCK

7 Comfortable Rides (For when the magic happens)

Males and females have two very different outlooks on going to bars and clubs.

For women its dancing, mingling, meeting new people, karaoke, and having an all around great time.

For men its getting laid.

There is a 99% chance you will not be knocking boots in the parking lot of a bar.  This list is dedicated to that 1% shimmer of hope.

Lets take a trip down fantasy lane and pretend that your lines worked, the girl is interested, and shes ready to see what you learned in Biology 101.  Here are the 7 rides you’ll want in your corner when the magic happens.

7) 2008 Maybach 62 Sedan

Lets assume you aren’t on a budget.  The Maybach runs just shy of 400k, has 543 HP, a V12 engine and gets 10-16 MPG.  The interior has enough head room to accommodate most bedroom positions.  If 5 cosmos don’t get sloppy Susie’s panties to drop, these electric foot rests should do the trick.

6) 1984 Chevy El Camino

Reality check, 400k isn’t pocket change.  That’s alright though because for as low as $3000 you could be bringing Stumbling Stefani back to your El Camino.  If Stefani is worried that people might peek into the back bed, you can easily rev up this 5.0 liter V8 and get into a secluded area quickly.  You may want to bring a sleeping bag and/or air mattress, as the bed is somewhat uncomfortable without padding.

5) 1980 Austin Maxi

This twin carburetor sporting 4 banger doesn’t have much under the hood.  Thankfully, we’re only concerned about what can fit under the hatch back.  Once you show the Kamikaze guzzling Kimberly how the back seats fold down, she will be more then impressed.

4) 1997 Passat Wagon

The Passat Wagon is the car version of a mullet.  Business in the front, party in the rear.  If by chance you end up having to drive your incoherent partner home, you’ll be pleased that the 1.9L 90 HP wagon gets an impressive 38-47 MPG.

3) 1970 Thunderbird

The T-Bird growls into 5th place on our list with its 365 HP V8.  If the soon to be Barfing Becky is not impressed by the soft interior, you can throw a blanket on the enormous hood, turn on the AM/FM radio, and ‘let the romance begin‘.

2) 1987 Chevy Celebrity Wagon

This beauty has a 2.5 liter V6 that will dazzle any date with its 136 HP engine.  Actually it only has 135 HP, but I added one because Outgoing Olga looks like she can do some damage.  The passenger seat completely reclines for some magical ‘girl on top action’.  However, if your partner does not have the coordination needed, you can always hop into the back where you will find a very comfortable flat bench seat.

1) 1969 Cadillac DeVille

1969, pun intended?  You bet your ass.  We could go on and on about this 472 cubic inch V8, but the bottom line is this:  If Heather the hoochie, starts to heave, you can point her over the side of the door without having to mess with the windows.  The Cadillac Deville has more conceptions under its belt then every single VIP room in Vegas.  Next time you see one of these babies barreling down the road, I suggest you give a salute to the back seat.

Have a positive experience in a car that we missed on our list?  Share it below!

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