7 Comfortable Rides (For when the magic happens)
September 11, 2008 · Print This Article
Males and females have two very different outlooks on going to bars and clubs.
For women its dancing, mingling, meeting new people, karaoke, and having an all around great time.
For men its getting laid.
There is a 99% chance you will not be knocking boots in the parking lot of a bar. This list is dedicated to that 1% shimmer of hope.
Lets take a trip down fantasy lane and pretend that your lines worked, the girl is interested, and shes ready to see what you learned in Biology 101. Here are the 7 rides you’ll want in your corner when the magic happens.
7) 2008 Maybach 62 Sedan
Lets assume you aren’t on a budget. The Maybach runs just shy of 400k, has 543 HP, a V12 engine and gets 10-16 MPG. The interior has enough head room to accommodate most bedroom positions. If 5 cosmos don’t get sloppy Susie’s panties to drop, these electric foot rests should do the trick.
6) 1984 Chevy El Camino
Reality check, 400k isn’t pocket change. That’s alright though because for as low as $3000 you could be bringing Stumbling Stefani back to your El Camino. If Stefani is worried that people might peek into the back bed, you can easily rev up this 5.0 liter V8 and get into a secluded area quickly. You may want to bring a sleeping bag and/or air mattress, as the bed is somewhat uncomfortable without padding.
5) 1980 Austin Maxi
This twin carburetor sporting 4 banger doesn’t have much under the hood. Thankfully, we’re only concerned about what can fit under the hatch back. Once you show the Kamikaze guzzling Kimberly how the back seats fold down, she will be more then impressed.
4) 1997 Passat Wagon
The Passat Wagon is the car version of a mullet. Business in the front, party in the rear. If by chance you end up having to drive your incoherent partner home, you’ll be pleased that the 1.9L 90 HP wagon gets an impressive 38-47 MPG.
3) 1970 Thunderbird
The T-Bird growls into 5th place on our list with its 365 HP V8. If the soon to be Barfing Becky is not impressed by the soft interior, you can throw a blanket on the enormous hood, turn on the AM/FM radio, and ‘let the romance begin‘.
2) 1987 Chevy Celebrity Wagon
This beauty has a 2.5 liter V6 that will dazzle any date with its 136 HP engine. Actually it only has 135 HP, but I added one because Outgoing Olga looks like she can do some damage. The passenger seat completely reclines for some magical ‘girl on top action’. However, if your partner does not have the coordination needed, you can always hop into the back where you will find a very comfortable flat bench seat.
1) 1969 Cadillac DeVille
1969, pun intended? You bet your ass. We could go on and on about this 472 cubic inch V8, but the bottom line is this: If Heather the hoochie, starts to heave, you can point her over the side of the door without having to mess with the windows. The Cadillac Deville has more conceptions under its belt then every single VIP room in Vegas. Next time you see one of these babies barreling down the road, I suggest you give a salute to the back seat.
Have a positive experience in a car that we missed on our list? Share it below!
The pictured Celebrity appears to have a 2.5L badge on its fender, but the 2.5L is a 4-cylinder engine making a meager 98hp. It came with a the 2.8 or 3.1 V6, the 3.1 producing the horsepower you refer to.
How are there no suburbans on here?
My 79 suburban was purrrfect…
Damn, nice catch D!
@R Because if I added trucks and SUV’s they’d fill up the list. Cars only on this one!
Where’s the Volkswagen Thing, the Volugrafo Bimbo and the Honda Life Dunk?
One great car that’s overlooked here was the 1985 AMC Eagle I drove in high school. This thing was the bastard child of a station wagon and a hummer; ugly as sin, but a better shaggin’ wagon than there ever was.
The back seats folded flat, the front could lay back far enough to make the whole cabin space a flat surface, plus the 4×4 made it convenient to head off the road where gawky cops couldn’t fuck with ya… I only needed to have that happen once, believe me.
How does it handle “larger” passengers Jim? I like my girls on the meaty side.