So…How many guys have you slept with?
August 5, 2008 · Print This Article
This golden question is inevitable. As time goes on, and curiosity builds, your partner will end up slapping you in the face with this hum-dinger of a question. If you’re a guy, usually you’ll bark out the truthful answer without batting an eye. Females on the other hand are much more complex. Awhile back I brushed on the rule of 3, but recently I’ve been told that there is a completely different algorithm when it comes to receiving an answer for “the question”. As always, this algorithm directly coincides with alcohol intake.
Lets take a look at a real time example:
Amber
Amber is a 22 year old nursing student who is somewhat shy, but now that you’ve been dating for 2 months, you can’t seem to shut her up. A casual conversation begins to develop regarding ex’s when Amber hits you with the question. You reply truthfully, and fire back awaiting a response: Here is how you should calculate her answer.
At 0 drinks, Amber gives an answer of 5. Here is where we can use the simple rule of 3. You can check your answer in the chart above. 5×3=15
Now comes the tricky part. After adding alcohol you may not pin point the exact answer, but using some simple math you can get pretty damn close. Amber has now had 3 drinks and has warmed up a bit so her answer goes from 5 to 7. No sweat, multiply the answer given by 2. 7×2=14. Viewing the graph you will see that this is only slightly off from the actual answer.
Amber has now had 6 drinks and she is rattling off at the mouth like an auctioneer. Being even more comfortable she gives an answer of 9. Take this number an divide it by 2. 9/2 = 4.5. Now add that number to her original answer. 9+4.5=13.5. We will assume that .5 resembles a midget.
Conclusion: Using simple math and my professional graph, we now have a way to calculate how many men have pile driven Daddy’s little girl before it was our turn. Feel free to print out this advanced algorithm and graph for your own personal use. You may also want to consider using an extra prophylactic if your partner has given an answer that exceeds two digits. Ladies, please don’t waste your time telling me that this is not accurate. I used a graph.
I think the comments in here made me laugh harder than my actual article (I love you Renee).
I will say this – I don’t mind a girl whos been around the block 6 or 7 times. At least a girl who “used to be” a total whore has it out of her system (hopefully).
Sure – Every guy wants that special virgin whos never been pounded, but those are also the ones who end up sucking off the pool boy while you’re at work, 10 years from now.
Hmmm….So I always told the truth about my number. No wonder my boyfriends had issues. ;)
Amber needs to learn to lie better. No matter how many drinks you have had, you never ever ever say more than 3. EVER. Even if bamboo shoots are threatening to stab your fingernails, no NOT waiver.
EVER!!!!!
I read that somewhere is all. I have only ever slept with 3 people in my life time.
LOL I’m not going to comment on my experiences, but I like this… I like this very much :P
“I have slept with ten guys and I am not ashamed about it. I agree with the guy who says he would rather have someone experience rather than someone who just lays there.
My boyfriend may be uncomfortable with that fact that I have slept with so many guys (but really? Ten? That does not seem like a lot to me), but I know for a fact that he is very comfortable getting his brains fucked out by me. The other night he told me he loved that I will climb on top of him and am not afraid to moan. =)”
Ten men is something to be ashamed of? You climb on top of him and aren’t afraid to moan?
Confess. ‘Brains fucked out’ is a really rude thing to say for a thirteen year old, missy.
Isn’t this article supposed to be funny? Why do I see so many people bitching at each other? Lighten up!
Funny ass post, btw. Love the chart.
I don’t like to be asked this question for a couple of reasons. 1.) I feel like a girl that’s too concerned with how many people I’ve been with really just feels guilty about how many people she’s been with, in which case, I don’t want to know. By the same logic, any girl that doesn’t trust you is also sleeping with all your friends (unless she actually knows you’re sleeping with hers). 2.) If somebody’s really good at something, it should suffice to know that they’ve had a shitload of practice. For example, if a baseball player has a strong batting average, I don’t really need to spend my time wondering how many baseballs he’s ever hit. I know it’s a shitload. 3.) I’d really be hard-pressed to give a number; not because it’s so high, but partly because I don’t really care enough to keep track and partly because there’s a lot of nights I just don’t fuckin’ remember that well.
Also, I’m really glad you used a graph, because otherwise there’s no way I would believe that more drinks could somehow equate to fewer actual partners and fractions thereof.
Oh hell, people get far too hung up on this. The only reason I’d ever ask a girl this is plain curiosity, and in the case of a few of my friends, whether they need to go get an STI check done again. Cos if they do, I’ll be the one driving them there. :)
My current girlfriend was 18 and a virgin before I met her, and to be honest? I prefer a more experienced girl. So I’m teaching her.
I’m bisexual btw…my gf gives me shit about how I’ve slept with more guys than she has XD
I’m the .5 in the story. I lost my left nut in the Gulf War.
Just remember…arguing on the internet is like running in the special Olympics. Even if you win…you’re still retarded.
OH HELL NO. Look, it’s the women that have to sit, talk, and construct retarded mathematical equations to figure your dumbasses out. Yes, I take full responsibilty as I do it myself. That said my friends and I tend to err on the side of telling the truth. Thats why most of us don’t answer the question. It’s not lying…it’s simply protecting your ego. We are OK with our “numbers” and thus if we told you we risk intimidating you…after all you’re gonna be the BEST sex we ever had, right? So top formuling numbers and take a leap of faith, not with your health (wear a damn condom) but also with the girl who has a right to tell you whatever she wants to this absurdly rude and pointless question! SHOOT! I’m wasting valuable hook up time as I attempt to send this into the unknown. Gotta Go…Oh and my number is several doubled-sided collegiate notebook papers and I’m DAMN proud of it!
My ex said at first she had been with 10 then before we broke up it was up to around 25. I’m kind of worried after reading these posts. So if you use the multiplier of 3 thats a whole lot of dudes..
@ old school, you are only a baby @ 19 and have yet to experience the real world so what you says is, 1. pointless, 2. gay, and 3. doesn;t matter. Hey let me know when ur chick dumps you for a real man with experience!!! HAHAHAHAHA
My ex said at first she had been with 10 then before we broke up it was up to around 25. I’m kind of worried after reading these posts. So if you use the multiplier of 3 that’s a whole lot of dudes..
I would have to say its still correct in your case JOHN. She said 10 which would be thirty. But then just before you broke up she said that to spite you. By telling the truth. So she confirmed your original 10×3=30 @ 25. Not counting you thats 4 left. Her dad 3. Grandpa 2, your dad 1. But who could the 30th be?
Fuck this shit.
Nice way to rip off American Pie you fucking failure.
Come up with your own shit.
This is not the truth at all. I would dare to say that this only counts if you have a habit of dating whores and untrustworthy people. In which case I feel terrible for you.
My partner and I have already done this. In fact, we have the most truthful relationship that anyone can ever think of. I caught my partner when he was a virgin and I was quite truthful to him when I told him that I hated the human race and have only had sex with one other person (And that was willing. I have been forced into sex two other times wile growing up).
Given how many times people have commented that this was wrong. I would imagine that you have no idea what you are talking about and should get some “Help” with you’re need to get together with untrustworthy people.
Actually, I’m a PhD Mathematics student at the University of Columbia, and after many calculations, these equations are indeed TRUE!! Amazing. Not only that, but I believe I see a correlation between this graph and String Theory… I’ll do some research.
renee, this is the internet, relax.
men ask women the same reason women ask men, curiosity. if theres more to it than that well, then the guy or girl is messed in the head.
for the majority of men and women though its just curiosity; not to mention if someone tells you they have sex all the time with lots of people your STD alarm goes off, thats just practicality, thats just statistics.
as for calling women sluts? yeah we do it. you call men assholes, pigs, whatever. if we didn’t say slut we would find another word so get your granny panties out your ass and relax. your ire is misplaced, your cause, no your method, is incorrect.
also its a joke so if you dont think its funny feel free to click back
Wow… I read through half the responses to this article and most of what i found was a bunch of arrogant opinions. So some guys want a girl with experience? Some girls like a guy with experience? Some guys prefer their girl to be a virgin? Some girls want a guy who is a virgin?
Why are some people so hostile towards others? I see nothing wrong with what Renee said. She was just expressing her opinion without putting down everybody (trying to keep it at a minimum from what i could tell) and a bunch of people ganged up on her. That’s rude and unnecessary.
Just to let anyone who is curious know: I am a girl who has been with only two guys (the god-honest truth for all those douchebags who decide that i am lying for some reason) and i am currently dating a guy who has slept with 8 girls. I hold nothing against him for sleeping with more girls than i have guys. Because he shared his sex life with me and i shared mine with him. As long as there is communication in the relationship the number of partners is irrelevant. If there isn’t enough communication then your future husband may have an affair with his secretary or your future wife may sleep with the pool boy.
Plus, society today is filled with so many double-standards. You don’t have to follow a societal belief to be perfectly content with your life. There are plenty more interesting things out there than the thoughts of the idiocracy.
If she says she’s a virgin, then add 1.
And then multiply by 3 if you feel like it.
am i the only one who doesnt get it?
might not be true but it is funny.
As the Romans would say: “in vino veritas”
Or in as many words “wine loosens the tongue”
This is pretty accurate. My girlfriend told me she’d slept with 11 guys when we first met and later on she revealed that the actual number was 32 !!!!!
Major kick in the guts!
in vino veritas literally means “truth in wine” which is similar to what you said
anyway my girl has told me that she has slept with 20 guys and we are still together but like the previous post before me suggests that number can be much higher, so now i am tempted to break up with her in a horrible way just to find out how many people she REALLY slept with. i feel like she is a whore for sleeping wtih that many people and frankly i think its fucking disgusting regardless of anything else. i think the fact that it bothers me so fucking much is because i fucking love her so fucking much (and no im not a fucking pussy for saying it) if it was any other girl i really wouldn’t give too shits about it have fun with her and maybe learn something new and then we’ll part ways, but i feel different for this chick and i think its the reason it hurts a lot. thats my story
Biotch, when they say something high like 20-30 dudes its probably closer to the truth than someone who says 4 or 5. At least shes got experience on her side!
this is a bunch of horse shit. while i don’t doubt that lots of chicks have slept with more people than they are willin to admit, this formula means nothing. i would place bets that most chicks who lie about the true number are only leaving out maybe 1 or 2 regretful experiences, as i have done. my total, true number is 5 but two of the 5 were one time incidents with close friends so i occasionally leave them out, however, if i were seeing someone, i would divulge the truth and expect the same of them. girls want to be honest and the only reason the good ones struggle is because of idioits like the author of ths horse shit who make us all out to be shameless whores.
Let me know when you wanna make it 6 Molly.
Jason, you’ve indicated in previous comments that you are in fact the idiot author of this horse shit, how interesting. As much as I could use a good “pounding,” as you might so eloquently word it, i have all this dignity and self respect which prevents me from taking you up on your offer to be my number 6. Besides that, you got alot of competition to deal with.
No need to take jabs at me. Its the holiday season, I offer you some yule log, and you come at me like this? Ouch.
Don’t get me wrong now Jason, i’m just havin fun with this. Happy Holidays to you and forgive me for not jumping on your yule log and blowing your mind
Sometime in the near future – you’ll be having a ‘low self esteem day’ which will lead to drinking. When that happens I’ll be waiting (with my pants around my ankles). Don’t count me out just yet.
I don’t know about that killer, I don’t tend to have low self-esteem days,I don’t wanna sound like an ego-maniac but I know I’m great. Unless you’re not into the smart, funny, 100 pound, green eyed brunette type. and I drink cause its fun.
Even if you’re fat, I’m in love.
5′0″ 100 pounds, i got where i need it lol
update: I’ve been jerking off to your myspace pic all night. Let me know when you’re ready to take this relationship a step further.
It’s kinda funny how people equate many partners with experience. If anything many partners leaves less room for real long-term relationships in which you’ll have sex a whole lot more than the occasional fuckbuddy/fling/one night stand when you’re single.
A couple of long-term relationship of two-three years will probably net you more experience than the alpha with 100s of different chicks under the belt.
And apart from the pure numbers game, i.e that being in a relationship = more sex, being in a relationship allows both parts to open up, talk about sex and what you like, and experiment more freely. Thus giving both partners more knowledge of sex than you could ever hope to gain from random flings no matter how many of them you have.
About 40 but 15 of them I can’t remember their names I just call’em (FBI dude, fire crotch…)
I’ll try 2 remember that detail next time
I’m not slutty I just got game :D
There’s no such thing as a girl with game. Some just say yes more.
superb link bw the two………. haha……. very funny but hard to be true……anyways nice notion