So…How many guys have you slept with?
August 5, 2008 · Print This Article
This golden question is inevitable. As time goes on, and curiosity builds, your partner will end up slapping you in the face with this hum-dinger of a question. If you’re a guy, usually you’ll bark out the truthful answer without batting an eye. Females on the other hand are much more complex. Awhile back I brushed on the rule of 3, but recently I’ve been told that there is a completely different algorithm when it comes to receiving an answer for “the question”. As always, this algorithm directly coincides with alcohol intake.
Lets take a look at a real time example:
Amber
Amber is a 22 year old nursing student who is somewhat shy, but now that you’ve been dating for 2 months, you can’t seem to shut her up. A casual conversation begins to develop regarding ex’s when Amber hits you with the question. You reply truthfully, and fire back awaiting a response: Here is how you should calculate her answer.
At 0 drinks, Amber gives an answer of 5. Here is where we can use the simple rule of 3. You can check your answer in the chart above. 5×3=15
Now comes the tricky part. After adding alcohol you may not pin point the exact answer, but using some simple math you can get pretty damn close. Amber has now had 3 drinks and has warmed up a bit so her answer goes from 5 to 7. No sweat, multiply the answer given by 2. 7×2=14. Viewing the graph you will see that this is only slightly off from the actual answer.
Amber has now had 6 drinks and she is rattling off at the mouth like an auctioneer. Being even more comfortable she gives an answer of 9. Take this number an divide it by 2. 9/2 = 4.5. Now add that number to her original answer. 9+4.5=13.5. We will assume that .5 resembles a midget.
Conclusion: Using simple math and my professional graph, we now have a way to calculate how many men have pile driven Daddy’s little girl before it was our turn. Feel free to print out this advanced algorithm and graph for your own personal use. You may also want to consider using an extra prophylactic if your partner has given an answer that exceeds two digits. Ladies, please don’t waste your time telling me that this is not accurate. I used a graph.
This is not an absolute truth.
…after checking your graph…there is no doubt in my mind that your figures are accurate *nodding* ;)
wow.. this is the truth..
i enjoy it… :)
superb link b/w the two……….haha…….very funny but hard to be true……anyways nice notion
lol…that’s funny!
Bwahahahahahaha. You just made me cringe. How did that 13.5 work? Have a great day. :)
Wow I like the graph. I wonder if you can use it to find the truth in other things as well.
lmao Jason you are too funny….but all this work to find out a chick’s number. Leave it to a guy to make it all complicated, with charts and mathematical algorithms.
All a woman has to do is talk to a guy for 5 minutes and she’ll know his number is a lot lower then he claimed. :D
Hahaha, that’s hilarious. I’ve heard of the rule of 3 before, but that’s good =)
This is pretty funny, and I’m glad I don’t drink (anymore). My hubby has never asked this question. Let’s hope it stays that way. :D
Did it occur to you for one minute that slut shaming is wrong. To refer to it as pile driving is meant to shame women for have active sex lives but it is fine for men to just do their business as they see fit right?
Honey, shut up and get back in the kitchen.
Renee’s boyfriend: I think your comment alone gave me my biggest laugh today.
Truly, big deal. Does it truly matter if she’s been with only 1 other, ten others, or a hundred others? What’s the issue here? Or am I just being dense?
Unfortunately you have leaked the formula. Therefore Amber must take into her calculation the likelihood of you knowing the formula. If she thinks it likely that you know this formula, she needs to subtract 1 guy when sober and subtract an additional guy for each three drinks she’s had. If she doesn’t believe you are graphically inclined, she should still hedge her bets and subtract .5 when sober and an additional .5 for each 3 drinks she’s had.
Now that we have reason to believe that Amber believes that we have the graph, we need to start with a rule of 4 for sober, rule of 2.5 for 3 drinks and if she’s had 6 or more, use rule of 2 plus add a chick.
i cant believe my real name was used in this article…
@whipstir ….
No shit dippy.
What if they say they are a virgin?
But the graph seems to be frightening plausible. I quiver at the thought of those who I already assumed to be truthful with their answer, considering the double digitness.
Bah.
I’ve slept with 14 different girls. I’m 25, and most of it was before I got married. If a girl is any good at all in bed, she’s been in it before. If she hasn’t been getting laid, there’s a reason.
That said, for evolutionary reasons I’d suggest staying away from the ones that can’t count.
A girl can easily stay healthy after being with 50 guys (look at the porno girls), or be sick after going with one.
Keep it real.
“Did it occur to you for one minute that slut shaming is wrong. To refer to it as pile driving is meant to shame women for have active sex lives but it is fine for men to just do their business as they see fit right?”
See, that works both ways though. A girl gets criticized for having too MUCH sex, but a guy gets criticized for not having enough. So all a girl has to do is exercise self-control and she’ll be good to go. A guy actually has to go out there and get some WORK done to get out of the danger zone. So quit your bitchin’.
I’d rather have an experienced woman that wants to f**k like crazy, than some “dead fish” that just lays there. I sure the heck don’t want a virgin.
This is somewhat like our:
OPEN LETTER TO GIRLS ON BIRTH CONTROL…
http://www.yogafordrunks.com/2008/06/open-letter-to-girls-on-birth-control.html
Enjoy!
All of this concentration on female sexuality is nothing more than male sexual discipline. Yeah good girls don’t right? I call BULLSHIT! Any female that internalizes this patriarchal bullshit needs to get her head examined. The sole reason men became interested in who women were sleeping with in the first place is to affirm paternity to pass on property. Notice the link between womanhood and property? Yeah if a woman is tainted by sleeping around so is a man.
Hehe, Renee is obviously a slut, you can tell by the angry feel of her post. Hey baby, wanna feel of my angry post? I like sluts.
Forgot to mention the STD I had, better check yourself out before your husband finds out ;)
Extra Prophylactic?
Don’ take this as anything but humor…ask any doctor.
More than one encourages breakage. Worse than a waste of time
Your paper, “Patriarchal Bullshit and Affirmation of Paternity,” is full of amazing discourse. Your women’s studies degree will serve you well in life. You have actualized your destiny!
Hey renee how are those women studies classes working for you? I love ur regurgetated bullshit that your feminist teacher shoved down your throat :)
LOVE THE POST JASON. Keep it up.
Pure Stroke of genius! KHIGH
@Sarah clearly you are a brainless colluder…don’t cry when your hero leaves you for better or decides that he has the right to bash you brains in because you don’t use them anyway.
Not sure about charts accuracy however, women that get highly upset and even justify how ridiculous it is to question high sexual activity are EX or present sluts!
“The sole reason men became interested in who women were sleeping with in the first place is to affirm paternity to pass on property. ”
Ahhh, Renee sweetie… the sole reason men are interested in who a woman is sleeping with is so we can determine, 1. if I can brag about her to my friends (which I can’t do if they’ve already tapped it) or, 2. if I’m going to rattle around inside her like a BB in a boxcar (which might happen if she has been with too many huge schlongs) or enjoy the sweet caress of vacuum cleaner tight suction.
The patriarchy doesn’t have jack to do with it honey. Now run along and make me a sandwich.
In my time, I used a woman’s diaphragm to clean out the exhaust on my motorcycle.
What a collection of trolls and not a single individual capable of making a rationale argument. The earth is overpopulated with oxygen thieves that gather in groups like this. I certainly hope that you are all having safe sex, we don’t need idiocy like this reproducing.
Renee may be coming across rather strongly but that doesn’t justify the rude and shockingly sexist comments others have been giving her! You’re all just making her right.
So can you tell me how many got in before this one?
http://www.wikiupload.com/images/BMW.php
“not a single individual capable of making a rationale argument”
A “rationale” argument? This glaring error makes it seem as if you are simply attempting to present a facade of intelligence. Wait a minute…
Oh and lighten up, nobody cares. We don’t really think all women are nuns or cum-guzzling whores; I’m sure there are a few cum-guzzling nuns out there too.
The only correct answer for the question is…
“You mean, at once??”
Use me!!!!useeeee meeee
Looool :D
well the answer is none :D i’m straight :P
There is also a rule for guys except guys will do kind of the opposite. At 0 drinks you need to divide by 2, at 3 drinks divide by 3 and after 6 drinks divide by 5
Renee: I apologize on behalf of the rest of my gender. Please remember that we’re not all as idiotic as the commenters here are.
David says See, that works both ways though. A girl gets criticized for having too MUCH sex, but a guy gets criticized for not having enough. So all a girl has to do is exercise self-control and she’ll be good to go. A guy actually has to go out there and get some WORK done to get out of the danger zone
You sound like someone who doesn’t actually know many women, or you’d know that they usually don’t at all mind an inexperienced partner. The only danger in your “danger zone” is the loss of respect in the eyes of OTHER MEN. And guess what - I don’t really care what other guys think, and I can’t imagine why anyone would.
Ah, I see, so you’re 1. an asshole, who 2. has no knowledge of female anatomy. Good to know. I do hope you’re this upfront with women, letting them know right off the bat that they’re just a trophy to you.
Although I somehow don’t doubt that you need to worry about being compared to a BB.
Maybe the .5 is a close encounter that almost led to sex? I think it’s just best to be honest…I never cared how many with any of the guys i dated…of course i’m not normal, either.
umm where the shame again? oh, right.. in the ASKING or CURIOUSITY.. shame on you. i didnt detect one single speck of negativity in this article, in fact you may be inclined to believe that the author might look forward to being with someone that has experience, and knows her/his way around a partner.. gee. now thats novel. but not indignant.
Just wanted to let you guys know reading this has been the high point of my day. LOL Renee I appreciate your comments, especially the oxygen thieves that was a good one. My question is if it is so bad why do you keep coming back for more. HUh. By the way I thought it was funny.
This graph is only true as the # of men approaches zero. For numbers like 200 actual, you’re not going to hear “66″. You’re going to hear “15-20″.
At first I wasn’t sure how truthful this was, but then I saw the graph and realized that it had to be true, i mean those numbers don’t lie, and seeing them in a graph just finalized my decision.
I have slept with ten guys and I am not ashamed about it. I agree with the guy who says he would rather have someone experience rather than someone who just lays there.
My boyfriend may be uncomfortable with that fact that I have slept with so many guys (but really? Ten? That does not seem like a lot to me), but I know for a fact that he is very comfortable getting his brains fucked out by me. The other night he told me he loved that I will climb on top of him and am not afraid to moan. =)
God, I hate society today. Everyone’s so willing to put out so quickly. Personally, I’m a 19-year-old guy who’s had one sexual partner. My girlfriend and I lost our virginities together a while ago and are still together; each other’s firsts and hopefully last.
And no, I’m not a) ugly b) fat or c) religious. I’m just an old school romantic who believes in true love and monogamy.
I think the comments in here made me laugh harder than my actual article (I love you Renee).
I will say this - I don’t mind a girl whos been around the block 6 or 7 times. At least a girl who “used to be” a total whore has it out of her system (hopefully).
Sure - Every guy wants that special virgin whos never been pounded, but those are also the ones who end up sucking off the pool boy while you’re at work, 10 years from now.
Hmmm….So I always told the truth about my number. No wonder my boyfriends had issues. ;)
Amber needs to learn to lie better. No matter how many drinks you have had, you never ever ever say more than 3. EVER. Even if bamboo shoots are threatening to stab your fingernails, no NOT waiver.
EVER!!!!!
I read that somewhere is all. I have only ever slept with 3 people in my life time.
LOL I’m not going to comment on my experiences, but I like this… I like this very much :P
“I have slept with ten guys and I am not ashamed about it. I agree with the guy who says he would rather have someone experience rather than someone who just lays there.
My boyfriend may be uncomfortable with that fact that I have slept with so many guys (but really? Ten? That does not seem like a lot to me), but I know for a fact that he is very comfortable getting his brains fucked out by me. The other night he told me he loved that I will climb on top of him and am not afraid to moan. =)”
Ten men is something to be ashamed of? You climb on top of him and aren’t afraid to moan?
Confess. ‘Brains fucked out’ is a really rude thing to say for a thirteen year old, missy.
Isn’t this article supposed to be funny? Why do I see so many people bitching at each other? Lighten up!
Funny ass post, btw. Love the chart.
I don’t like to be asked this question for a couple of reasons. 1.) I feel like a girl that’s too concerned with how many people I’ve been with really just feels guilty about how many people she’s been with, in which case, I don’t want to know. By the same logic, any girl that doesn’t trust you is also sleeping with all your friends (unless she actually knows you’re sleeping with hers). 2.) If somebody’s really good at something, it should suffice to know that they’ve had a shitload of practice. For example, if a baseball player has a strong batting average, I don’t really need to spend my time wondering how many baseballs he’s ever hit. I know it’s a shitload. 3.) I’d really be hard-pressed to give a number; not because it’s so high, but partly because I don’t really care enough to keep track and partly because there’s a lot of nights I just don’t fuckin’ remember that well.
Also, I’m really glad you used a graph, because otherwise there’s no way I would believe that more drinks could somehow equate to fewer actual partners and fractions thereof.
Oh hell, people get far too hung up on this. The only reason I’d ever ask a girl this is plain curiosity, and in the case of a few of my friends, whether they need to go get an STI check done again. Cos if they do, I’ll be the one driving them there. :)
My current girlfriend was 18 and a virgin before I met her, and to be honest? I prefer a more experienced girl. So I’m teaching her.
I’m bisexual btw…my gf gives me shit about how I’ve slept with more guys than she has XD
I’m the .5 in the story. I lost my left nut in the Gulf War.
Just remember…arguing on the internet is like running in the special Olympics. Even if you win…you’re still retarded.
[...] how many guys have you slept with? [...]
OH HELL NO. Look, it’s the women that have to sit, talk, and construct retarded mathematical equations to figure your dumbasses out. Yes, I take full responsibilty as I do it myself. That said my friends and I tend to err on the side of telling the truth. Thats why most of us don’t answer the question. It’s not lying…it’s simply protecting your ego. We are OK with our “numbers” and thus if we told you we risk intimidating you…after all you’re gonna be the BEST sex we ever had, right? So top formuling numbers and take a leap of faith, not with your health (wear a damn condom) but also with the girl who has a right to tell you whatever she wants to this absurdly rude and pointless question! SHOOT! I’m wasting valuable hook up time as I attempt to send this into the unknown. Gotta Go…Oh and my number is several doubled-sided collegiate notebook papers and I’m DAMN proud of it!
My ex said at first she had been with 10 then before we broke up it was up to around 25. I’m kind of worried after reading these posts. So if you use the multiplier of 3 thats a whole lot of dudes..
@ old school, you are only a baby @ 19 and have yet to experience the real world so what you says is, 1. pointless, 2. gay, and 3. doesn;t matter. Hey let me know when ur chick dumps you for a real man with experience!!! HAHAHAHAHA
My ex said at first she had been with 10 then before we broke up it was up to around 25. I’m kind of worried after reading these posts. So if you use the multiplier of 3 that’s a whole lot of dudes..
I would have to say its still correct in your case JOHN. She said 10 which would be thirty. But then just before you broke up she said that to spite you. By telling the truth. So she confirmed your original 10×3=30 @ 25. Not counting you thats 4 left. Her dad 3. Grandpa 2, your dad 1. But who could the 30th be?
Fuck this shit.
Nice way to rip off American Pie you fucking failure.
Come up with your own shit.
This is not the truth at all. I would dare to say that this only counts if you have a habit of dating whores and untrustworthy people. In which case I feel terrible for you.
My partner and I have already done this. In fact, we have the most truthful relationship that anyone can ever think of. I caught my partner when he was a virgin and I was quite truthful to him when I told him that I hated the human race and have only had sex with one other person (And that was willing. I have been forced into sex two other times wile growing up).
Given how many times people have commented that this was wrong. I would imagine that you have no idea what you are talking about and should get some “Help” with you’re need to get together with untrustworthy people.
Actually, I’m a PhD Mathematics student at the University of Columbia, and after many calculations, these equations are indeed TRUE!! Amazing. Not only that, but I believe I see a correlation between this graph and String Theory… I’ll do some research.
renee, this is the internet, relax.
men ask women the same reason women ask men, curiosity. if theres more to it than that well, then the guy or girl is messed in the head.
for the majority of men and women though its just curiosity; not to mention if someone tells you they have sex all the time with lots of people your STD alarm goes off, thats just practicality, thats just statistics.
as for calling women sluts? yeah we do it. you call men assholes, pigs, whatever. if we didn’t say slut we would find another word so get your granny panties out your ass and relax. your ire is misplaced, your cause, no your method, is incorrect.
also its a joke so if you dont think its funny feel free to click back
Wow… I read through half the responses to this article and most of what i found was a bunch of arrogant opinions. So some guys want a girl with experience? Some girls like a guy with experience? Some guys prefer their girl to be a virgin? Some girls want a guy who is a virgin?
Why are some people so hostile towards others? I see nothing wrong with what Renee said. She was just expressing her opinion without putting down everybody (trying to keep it at a minimum from what i could tell) and a bunch of people ganged up on her. That’s rude and unnecessary.
Just to let anyone who is curious know: I am a girl who has been with only two guys (the god-honest truth for all those douchebags who decide that i am lying for some reason) and i am currently dating a guy who has slept with 8 girls. I hold nothing against him for sleeping with more girls than i have guys. Because he shared his sex life with me and i shared mine with him. As long as there is communication in the relationship the number of partners is irrelevant. If there isn’t enough communication then your future husband may have an affair with his secretary or your future wife may sleep with the pool boy.
Plus, society today is filled with so many double-standards. You don’t have to follow a societal belief to be perfectly content with your life. There are plenty more interesting things out there than the thoughts of the idiocracy.
[...] in Uncategorized | Tags: Aria, brain fart, graph, grouchy, kitty, labor, Lanae, lost, mom, sex | This post made me LOL. Especially this line at the end: “Ladies, please don’t waste your time [...]
If she says she’s a virgin, then add 1.
And then multiply by 3 if you feel like it.
am i the only one who doesnt get it?
might not be true but it is funny.
As the Romans would say: “in vino veritas”
Or in as many words “wine loosens the tongue”