John Chow Can Blow Me
August 11, 2008 · Print This Article
To all of the die hard make money bloggers: Take a moment to read the article before you call me an asshole and close the page.
If you’re anything like me you’ve got your stash of bookmarked sites that make you laugh. I particularly enjoy the fail and face plant videos. In fact; I was looking for a good video of someone drunk, doing something stupid, when I stopped to unleash some fury via wordpad. There is only so much “Congratulations you have won a free apple I-pod” one can take before a fuse is blown.
There has been a gigantic increase in pop ups and peel aways that has put a dent in my daily enjoyment of the internet. I blame one man for this, and one man only. His name is John Chow, and he has been shoveling shit into the brains of bloggers for far too long.
Fact: Adding a pop up to your site will not buy a car.
Your website should make you enough money to pay for your domain, buy the webspace, and maybe a few gallons of gas – Thats it. If you take a look to your right you will see what appears to be a cluster fuck, that very well could have been coded by a 5 year old using a speak and spell. Thats how it should be, off to the side out of everyones way.
Brain washing one poor kid John Chow will turn the internet into one gigantic ad. Its time to fight back.
John Chow is a Murderer
Meet Emily. Emily is a 13 year old overweight girl, who has started a blog about ‘How to teach your cat gymnastics’. Unfortunately for Emily, no one gives a shit. Sadly, one of the first sites she fell victim to, was John Chow’s. She may have had a chance if John Chow had not existed.
Emily’s Life without John Chow
Emily would have been made fun of for being overweight until she cried her fatass to the gym. Fast forward 5 years and Emily is now a size 3, getting wasted at prom with all of the cool kids. The best part? She puts out. The whole low self esteem thing from being fat, pretty much kicked all of her morals to the curb. Emily finds herself on the receiving end of many DNA Sundae’s until some rich prick with a beamer decides that he wants her for himself, marries her, and buys her a great set of fake tits.
The Sad Truth
Emily gets made fun of for being fat but does not care. She has read John Chow’s website and is determined that her cat blog will bring her fame and fortune. Instead of hitting the gym, she hits the add button on her Myspace page while gobbling down meat lovers pizza. Senior prom rolls around and Emily has no date. Her website is now making a whopping .03 cents per day via adsense, and her KatLadyXOXO profile has 834 friends on Myspace. One morning Emily’s parents find her dead, laying next to her pc. Apparently Emily fell out of her Lazy Boy recliner while reaching for her Big Gulp.
This girl could have had a chance, do your part to make the cyberworld a better place.
To all of the die hard make money bloggers: You can close this page now and call me an asshole (I needed you to stick around for my bounce rate though)
I hate john chow too. He uses his reader and the readers don’t even get anything out of it. John Chow gets all the money. People needs to stop blogging about “blogging and making money”. It’s not that easy.
I believe intrusive ads suck. Small well placed ads that don’t get in the way of content seems fine.
Here’s some suggestions to solve your ad problem:
1. Get Firefox
2. Install Adblock Plus
3. In Adblock Plus, Subscribe to whichever ad list you want.
4. Surf without ads or popups!
If while using this setup you come across an ad, you can easily block it from further sight with Adblock Plus.
Save your mind, use the above setup.
—
You are NOT a Sheep:
http://www.notasheep.com/
Even John Chow was fuked by Google
His Pagerank was about 6 when he started blogging, but after pr update, he got Pagerank 0, and he is one PR 3.
He was not on top with his name in Google results.
I detest John Chow’s site, but I find it ironic that criticism this deep is coming an article where nearly 20 percent of this article’s real estate is comprised of ads.
Every one is looking to find the quick riches scheme, Chow’s will come and go results will be the same.
People need to really assess why they got into blogging. It is not a get rich quick scheme and the ones that are actually making money (the rare few) have been at it for years.
I unsubscribed from John Chow April 1st when he pulled that stupid Rick Roll thing on me. You know, I used to think his blog was a good resource. Now, I have a different opinion. Cool post, Regretful Morning.
I find the peel-aways especially revolting.
I don’t run any ads. I might kid myself that people will read my blog and think it’s funny…but I don’t kid myslef that anyone’s going to click on an ad and make me rich.
I like your style. But I think you should spell-check your punchlines. I think what you’re referring to above might be a “DNA sundae”?
Who the fuck is John Chow anyway?
Wow! Now that is a good bash and will written. John Chow will you reply?
Oops- I misspelled a word in my comment. Irony has bitten me on the ass.
My inbox is getting wrecked right now with hate mail, thats what I was shooting for. Thanks Kathcom, will fix it now.
Be back later to fan the flames!
I took John Chow’s class for only 3 easy payments of $39.99 and now i make millions on my blog. THANKS Mr. Chow!
Hey, Jason– glad I could help!
I keep my pop-up blocker on. I won’t read, stumble, digg, comment, etc. on ANY page with pop-ups or Flash crap. If the site takes up too much of my time closing windows and stopping dumb flash animations, then I’m certainly not going to spend any extra time there.
Hooray! I took a look at the Chow Cow months ago and thought to myself “who the hell cares?” He can’t write a thing worth reading…he basically writes a few blips to get people there and who in the world is dumb enough to believe that when you click on his info buttons that he’s helping you? He helps himself and pockets the money…at his own Chow Cow buffet.
He’s rich…who the hell cares. I have a couple of adsense ads up and always laugh when I remember to check and I have .42 cents in my account.
Great post…diggggging it.
Interesting post. I believe John Chow feeds of controversy. Lets face it, this post, as negative as it is, effectively promotes his presence.
Readers coming in thinking “Who the fuck is John Chow anyway?” will prob be searching for his blog for a look see as a result of this post.
Right on! John Chow sucks, man. His blog is dog shit and he’s managed to convince a lot of people that they can be rich by putting up crap blogs, too. “Forget about that content, kids! It’s all about the ads and article after article about how to get rich!”
Screw him. Anyone thinking they’ll make any more than beer money from blog money is living in a fool’s paradise.
Keep up the fight…
Does anyone like John Chow? I don’t know of a soul. Great post. Have an awesome day.
Awesome. I could not agree more! (Asshole.)
Who’s sending you hate mail??? I’ll fuck them up!
Did you have to post about him? bleck.
I would of sent you some hate mail if you wanted it.
Awesome post! I couldn’t agree more! I checked out his site once and have never been back. His site honestly bored the hell out of me and I do not buy into the idea that a person can make lots of money with a blog. I’d never believe anyone that says you can. Never seen the big deal in John Chow.
Problogger and shoemoney give more knowledge than him.
Fantastic post. i wish i even cared about who this John chow guy was.
hey you don´t like john chow ? just don´t read his blog that´s all you have to do. everybody is looking for a buck, there are some ads on your blog too, so don´t blame somebody else for the fact you don´t make as much money then he does. there are a lot other good blogs out there too like shoemoney and problogger for example. not everyone is making the big $$$ out of blogging but it´s sure a way to make some pocket money out of it for everyone. The more you for for it the more you get. not everyone is becomeing a john chow, but not everyone is becomming a bill gates too, right ??? The best way to show people you are right is to become a better blogger than john chow is, a lot of work !!! just do it !
and here I thought I was the lone ranger thinking he was an ass.
WOW! One little post entitled John Chow and you attract more traffic and receive more Comments than I do on my site in a month! Who is using John Chow more?
Ah man this is funny stuff! Thanks for giving my day a good start!
It could be that John is playing the bad guy role on purpose to differentiate his brand? Who knows…
“Never under estimate the power of the Dark Side”
John Chow the Chinese Darth Vader
Oh, don’t you worry. John Chow is Dying
http://www.linkbaitarticles.com/link-bait-articles/john-chow-is-dying/