There comes a point in every boozing celebrity’s life where they’ve got to ask themselves “Should I slow down a bit?”  Whether their life starts spiraling into a shit storm, or they’re just too old to still be partying like rock stars, this moment will inevitably hit them.  On a personal note, I could care less.  I enjoy the spread eagle tabloids of a pantyless celebrity just as much as the next guy.  Never the less, here is our list of sloppy celebs.

9) Mel Gibson

If Mel battled his alcoholism like he battled the English rule in Braveheart, he’d be one sober guy.  Unfortunately for him; not buying another bottle of Jack offscreen, is harder than battling a shit load of armed Englishmen onscreen.

Why he should stop getting wasted:

On July 28, 2006, at 2:36am PDT, Mel Gibson was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence (DUI) of alcohol after being stopped for speeding (84 mph/140 km per hour in a 45 mph/72 km/h zone) in his 2006 Lexus LS 430 on Pacific Coast Highway in Malibu, California. A breathalyzer test measured Gibson’s blood-alcohol level as “0.12%” (the state’s legal limit is 0.08%), and next to him was an open container of “Cazadores Tequila,” 750ml at 75% full. Gibson was described by the arresting officer James Mee as cooperative until arrested, at which point he became belligerent and experienced mood swings. While handcuffed in the car, Gibson made anti-Semitic remarks to Mee, who is Jewish. TMZ reported that Gibson asked a female sergeant at the station “What are you looking at, sugar tits?”, citing an unnamed law enforcement source; however, this allegation was not found in the unofficial arrest report.[5] Gibson was released on bail at 9 am PDT. TMZ.com broke the story of Gibson’s arrest for DUI on July 28 at 7 pm PDT, and later that night TMZ posted photocopies of an unofficial arrest report. The next day Gibson confessed to driving under the influence and to “despicable” behavior during his arrest, and a frenzy of media coverage followed.

8) Britney Spears

I don’t even know where to start on this one.  It seems like Brit went from “Hit Me Baby One More Time” to “Hit That Beer Bong 6 More times” in about 3 seconds.

Why she should stop getting wasted:

Britney’s rehab bills alone could probably buy a house.  The third time is a charm: The troubled pop princess checked back into the Promises treatment center in Malibu Wednesday evening, just as her estranged husband Kevin Federline was preparing to go to court for an emergency hearing Thursday in the custody dispute over their two children. On average rehab costs $2,500 per day, you do the math.

7) Nick Nolte

In 1982 Nick drank from a flask on the set of ’48 hours’, and we’re pretty positive that he never put it back down.

Why he should stop getting wasted:

The 61-year old actor was arrested after California Highway Patrol spotted him swerving on the Pacific Coast Highway. According to police, he allegedly pulled his Mercedes into the oncoming lane of traffic at one point. According to CHP spokesman Leland Tang, Nolte seemed “completely out of it” when officers pulled him over. “He was drooling, [with] droopy eyes. He…looked very much like he was under the influence.” Anyone who saw his mugshot, which showed a wild-haired Nolte wearing an outrageous Hawaiian shirt, can probably understand why he looked so out of it.

6) Lindsay Lohan

An average actress, a below average singer, but a professional party animal.  Lohan got sucked into the Hollywood scene at a very young age.  Little Lindsay was doing coke rails and spilling cosmos on her tits before most girls had even lost their virginity.  E’s Billy Bush seems to have her back though, heres a great interview of him going back and forth with ‘The Mikey Show’

Why she should stop getting wasted:

Police booked Lohan for investigation of drunken driving and cocaine possession after a frightened woman dialed 911 to report being chased by Lohan’s SUV.  Less than two weeks out of rehab, with another drunken-driving case pending, Lohan had a blood-alcohol level of between 0.12 and 0.13 percent when police found her about 1:30 a.m., Sgt. Shane Talbot said.

5) Amy Winehouse

Define Irony.  Amy’s smash hit ‘Rehab’ acted like a spring board for the young singer.  Sadly, what goes up must come down – and by down we mean rock bottom.

Why she should stop getting wasted:

British newspaper splashed photos of singer Amy Winehouse bloody and bruised across its Friday edition after she allegedly had a fight with her husband. The photos, supposedly taken early Thursday morning, showed Winehouse wearing blood-soaked ballet shoes, with bruises to her neck, bandages on her arms and makeup smeared down her face.

4) Courtney Love

If Courtney Love spent half the time in the studio as she did at the club, we might actually hear an album that doesn’t sound like a highschool garage band.  I’m not sure how she still manages to get into exclusive places with a road map for a face, but at least shes got heart.

Why she should stop getting wasted:

After baring herself on “The Late Show with David Letterman,” singer Courtney Love was arrested at a New York City nightclub for reckless endangerment after police said she tossed a microphone stand into the audience, striking one of the club’s patrons in the head.

3) Scott Weiland

Scott Weiland single handedly dismantled his band ‘Stone Temple Pilots’.  Unsatisfied with the destruction of his band, he also managed to drive off members of his second band ‘Velvet Revolver’.  Scott is now out of rehab again and has reformed his first band ‘STP’.  Anyone care to chime in with the over/under on how long it will take him to ruin this one?

Why he should stop getting wasted:

Weiland was charged with one misdemeanor count of driving under the influence of alcohol with a prior conviction, and with an allegation that he refused a chemical test as required by law. We are told he was over the legal limit of .08%, but not by much.

2) Andy Dick

Andy Dick managed to turn his comedy career around for the worst.  From making funny skits, to making utter shit, it appears Dick won’t be making a comeback anytime soon.

Why he should stop getting wasted:

Andy Dick is one of the few who have actually been thrown off of the Jimmy Kimmel Show.  Watch a wasted Andy Dick paw at Ivanka Trump until Kimmel finally carries him off stage.

1) David Hasselhoff

Its hard to bash a man who has brought us so many great things.  If it wasn’t for the Hoff, we probably wouldn’t have had Baywatch.  Baywatch was responsible for making the stock options for ‘Kleenex’ sky rocket.  Sadly, once the show ended, Hoff decided to keep swimming – only this time it was in alcohol and not water.

Why he should stop getting wasted:

When your pigtailed daughter tells you that your drinking is out of control, its probably time to get some help.

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