5 Movie Characters that could probably outdrink you
August 19, 2008 · Print This Article
Every once in awhile a movie comes along where you bond with one of the characters in a completely heterosexual manner. Let me clarify by saying; this list correlates with the character played and not the actor. Telling your buddies that you’d like to hang out and play a game of poker with Matthew McConaughey is a good way to lose man points. However, explaining that you would enjoy doing keg stands with Wooderson is a completely different story. This would be embraced by your peers and you will quickly see many head nods in agreement.
In this list we pay tribute to our five favorite on screen alcoholics.
5) Frank Ricard in Old School (Will Ferrell)
We’re going streaking!
Having a name like “Frank the Tank” automatically means you can guzzle beer all night long and still partake in activities like streaking without missing a beat. Frank starts out slow due to him being married. Luckily he gets a divorce, and toward the end of the movie it is clear that he is the BMOC.
4) Charlie Tweeder in Varsity Blues (Scott Caan)
Well we’re all naked in there and we’ve got handcuffs and cool shit to play with so take off your clothes and get in the car.
Tweeder has two weaknesses; Alcohol and Vagina, and in this movie he shows us how often he likes to indulge in both. Tweeder claims a spot on our list for partying at a strip club all night long before a football game. Instead of blaming his poor performance on a hang over, he states that he simply can’t get his teachers ass out of his head.
3) Landfill in Beerfest (Kevin Heffernan)
Let’s get bombed!
Landfill drinks more beer in this movie then most of us have in an entire NFL season. He traveled to Germany and won the fast chug contest with ease. He also managed to be a fat ass and still have a hot wife. Sadly, Landfill #1 dies at the hands of a gigantic beer trough. It is completely acceptable to shed a tear for this fallen warrior when they show him laying there like a bloated turd.
2) David Wooderson in Dazed and Confused (Matthew McConaughey)
That’s what I love about these high school girls, man. I keep getting older, they stay the same age.
Wooderson is one of those guys who still parties with the high school crowd. The only difference is that those guys are usually complete losers, while Wooderson kicks ass on multiple levels. In this movie, Wooderson starts to drink beer and smoke joints shortly after dusk. Instead of calling it a night, he continues to guzzle beer and ends up driving from Austin to Houston the following morning (without an ounce of sleep).
1) Doc Holiday in Tombstone (Val Kilmer)
I’m your huckleberry.
Doc Holiday claims the number one spot on our list for many reasons. Doc played poker for almost 24 hours straight, continued to drink whiskey, was deathly ill, and still managed to dominate his opponents (on and off the poker table). Holiday also continued to laugh in the face of death as he prodded at gunslingers and made an ass out of bar bullies throughout the movie.
Who are your favorite on screen alcoholics?
I can outdrink ALL of them! really, i can……why don’t you believe me!
I am sure I can out drink these guys, check it out…serious!
i know I could hang with them, but out drink Im not sure im no longer in my prime I drink alot less since college.
I feel Will Ferrell is always drunk. Even in normal life too. Anyway they all can out drink me simply because i don’t drink
i like drink… and this film make me
drink everday… hehe
I’m tired of seeing lists like this with no mention of the Thin Man series from the ’30s and ’40s. Do some more research!
Aww, how could you forget Indiana Jones’ love interest, Marion Ravenwood, from Raiders of the Lost Ark?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marion_Ravenwood
sorry can’t outdrink……..because dont drink:-)
anyways nice videos
Marion Ravenwood, of course!
The Dude – Jeffrey Lewboski!
Man makes a mean Caucasian.
Has anyone seen Blazing saddles, the waco kid (Gene Wilder) could out drink anybody
You forgot two more:
2. Ben Sanderson (N. Cage) from Leaving Las Vegas
1. Henry Chinaski (M. Rourke) from Barfly
Um, how about both Fast Eddie (Paul Newman) and Minnesata Fats (Jackie Gleason) in The Hustler.
How can it be there is no mention of John Belushi’s character John “Bluto” Blutarsky from Animal House.
0) John “Bluto” Blutarsky in Animal House (John Belushi)
This man was left off the official list because to include him would be absolutely unfair to ever other movie character who picked up an alcoholic beverage. No mortal man could chug a bottle of whiskey in the way that Bluto did in this movie, and he was completely humble about it thereafter. That, my friends, is a class act.
are you serious???
BILLY BOB THORNTON IN ANY MOVIE!!!
Willie Stokes from Bad Santa.
or what about Morris Buttermaker from Bad News Bears.
at least in the top 3
Good call on Doc Holiday.
But no Stifler?
Dwight Stifler (American Pie: Naked Mile and Beta House)
The truth is spoken here:
> # Malacandra Says:
> August 20th, 2008 at 1:54 am
>
> Marion Ravenwood, of course!
John BLutarski is the Chuck Norris of drinking. He is not included for the same reason that Chuck Norris is not allowed in any MMA, Karate, Taekwondo, Judo, Jujitsu, Ninja Battle, or Billiards competition (He’s already won them all, just by existing).
No Bluto from Animal House? Are you out of your minds? John Belushi’s immortal character outdrinks all five of these characters combined.
Cage was so awesome in ‘Leaving Las Vegas’
Terri: Maybe you shouldn’t drink so much.
Ben Sanderson: Maybe I shouldn’t breathe so much Terri.
also
Sera: Don’t you like me, Ben?
Ben Sanderson: Sera… what you don’t understand is – no, see, no. You can never, never ask me to stop drinking.
Great List !!
you should make a top 5 list for movie characters that can outsmoke you!!
(some movies to include: pineapple express / grandma’s boy / cheech and chong)
How is it possible to make such a list without including Bluto from Animal House?
You totally forgot Legolas. Legolas kicked a DWARF’s ass in a drinking contest, you will remember.
Man,youve all missed the biggest drinker ever seen in a movie..
Legolas OUTDRINKS Gimli in LOTR…while gimli, as a dwarf who can drink more than any human, falls over drunk.. Legolas starts feeling a twitch in his hand as an effect.. BEAT THAT
I am sure I can out drink these guys…
BLUTO SHOULD HAVE BEEN ON HERE. LAME.
No mention of Withnail? from ‘Withnail and I’?
Lighter fluid ftw
How about Marion from the Raiders of the Lost Ark?
mmmm, no Withnail??
Geoffrey Firmin (Albert Finney) in Under the Volcano (John Huston). He could drink any of the others under the table and/or die trying.
Kid Shelleen (Lee Marvin) in Cat Ballou.
Excellent list – thanks!!
Lee Marvin in Cat Ballou and Toshiro Mifune in The Seven Samurai also come to mind.
What no mention of Bluto of animal house:-(
John “Bluto ” Blutarsky (John Belushi) – Animal House
Schindler’s list ist a neat heavy drunken
wth… how is bluto from animal house not on here?? he definately drinks more than at least 3 of the people on this list!!
ha ha… Americans can’t drink….. a few beers and they’re washed out… try Withnail for proper drinking…. you lightweights……
No Dudley Moore as Arthur?
What about Withnail from ‘Withnail and I’ ?
I doubt many could out drink him.
Viddy > http://www.withnail-links.com/drinking.htm
LOL, I laugh at your misfortune! LOL
JJ
http://www.decrypt.net.tc
You missed Nicholas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas and Mickey Rourke in Barfly. They would out drink anyone on this list.
Horrible list, Frank couldnt hold his liquor, and Tweeder was a highschool punk.
Replacements:
Bluto, Animal house, the man chugged a bottle of JD to calm down.
Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), Raiders of the Lost Ark everyone should remember the famous drinking chalange sceen.
I know its kinda modern but what about Hancock? and I second the guy that said the Dude – Lebowskie (have no idea how to spell it) but he definitely should be on that list
#1 Henry Chinaski
#2 Bluto
#3 Arthur
#4 Lu Yan
Terrible list. Have you seen a movie before 1993?
Kid Shileen in Cat Ballou, as played by Lee Marvin is the greatest on screen drunk ever.
You have to do one for tv shows now…..i nominate Lucille Bluth (arrested development) for the number one spot….anyone contest that?
I like the idea black. I’d throw Homer Simpson in there and maybe Hank from king of the hill as well!
if were talking simpsons, youd have to throw in Barney..i cant think of 5 total though….