What Happens in Freemont…

Name: Sheila (Alias)

Age: 24

It is I Sheila, back with another regretful morning tale from the dark…

A few summers ago my cousins, and I took a road trip to Fremont Street just outside of Las Vegas, we call it “Ghetto Vegas”.  We booked a room at the Golden Nugget.  As soon as we arrived, we started drinking pretty heavily.  Just as before, apply make-up, shot, curl hair, beer chug, you get the idea…

Well, needless to say by 9pm we decide we are more than ready to go out.  We start at the casino in our hotel.  We see there is a band playing.  We order some drinks, dance a little all around, having a fine inebriated time.

My cousin (who will be referred to as “Lupe” from now on) and I, we were just getting started!  We drank some more, had a few dirty old men buy us some drinks, gambled a bit, got some drinks comped.  We stumbled around from card table to card table.  We realized at some point that it was too late to go anywhere else and decided to go back to where the band was playing and hang out.  “Rita”, my other cousin isn’t up for it and goes back to the hotel room.

Well, it turned out the band was finished playing for the night.  We had just missed their last set.  But their Tom Jones look-alike bassist offered to buy us a round or two if we waited while they cleaned up their equipment.  We thought he seemed nice enough and this was quite a generous offer to drunks such as ourselves, so we obliged.

Well, one round turned into several, and one thing turned into another…Tom Jones invited us back to his hotel room.  Mostly he invited Lupe.  I was just there.  Which was fine with me, he was 45-ish and seriously looked like Tom Jones (and no he was not an impersonator!)  I was all about it, I was friggin tired and so incredibly drunk, I just wanted to lay down somewhere.
Turns out he was staying at the very same hotel, on the opposite side of us, we were staying in the south tower, he was staying in the north tower.

We go to his room which is full of his other band members, and there is no available bedding to be seen.  I tell Lupe I want to sleep and I’m going to our room.  She says okay and swears she’ll be fine and catch up with me later.  Against my better judgment, I leave.

In one of the elevators on the way back I meet another drunkard, whom I believe was pretty hot.  We make out in the elevator and all the way back to my room, and then I say goodnight.  I know, it’s hard for me to believe too!  Checked the clock, it was 5am! Man, what a night!

Around 7 am there is pounding coming from outside of my head.  Rita scrambles out of bed and answers the door.
I open my swollen, drunken eyes and see Lupe standing behind a police officer/security guard in nothing but a towel.  The cop says “Ma’am, do you know this woman?” Rita was rubbing her eyes in disbelief, she looked back at me and said “I thought she came in with you!” I shrug and keep my eyes on bewildered Lupe.

He says it again “Ma’am, do you know this woman?”  She says yeah, she’s our cousin, Lupe what the hell happened?!”  The cop says “Listen: She is to stay here for the night, she is NOT to leave.  She cannot walk around the North tower naked!”

Rita replied “Okay! But is she okay, did something happen?” The cop said, “we’ve been following her for an hour.  She walked around the both towers naked.  She broke into a maid’s closet and stole a towel.  We saw her on our surveillance cameras.”

Rita said, “Oh.” Looks back at me and then grabs Lupe by her hand.  She ushers her back into our hotel room and bids the officer good evening.

Rita & I don’t say a word, we all just climb into bed and pass out.

A few hours later, Rita sits up and says “LUPE! Did you get raped or what?!” Lupe says “No, stupid, I don’t know what happened, but I do remember stealing a towel and cops chasing me.”

We all laughed our asses off.  We still never live it down.  We call her “South Tower” every chance we can.

1) Tell your cousin Rita that shes in the running for a free shirt.

2) Give her my email address

3) Tell her I look like Tom Jones