Revenge of the turds
July 1, 2008 · Print This Article
Name: Mike
Age: 18
I still get shit from friends at least once a month for this. Back in 2005 when I was still 15, my friends and I all got together at the park for some badass underage drinking. The drinking age here in Australia is 18 by the way.
It was the second time I’d ever drank, and we had a bottle of vodka and some other premixes. I was basically the only one chugging into the vodka, and ended up having about 2 premixed drinks along with 1/3 of the bottle of vodka…Might not sound like overkill, but take into account I was only 15, weighed 62kg and had no resistance to booze.
Well I blanked out at around 11pm before we got back to our mates place, and my first frame of memory was 6 hours later at 5am in the morning. I was sitting in the shower, the water was flooding the bathroom and the kitchen next door (I didn’t think to close the shower door or curtain). I’m also naked.
I stumble downstairs and step in the fattest turd you’d ever seen - ‘FUCK’ I thought, ‘My friend got so drunk he shat on the floor, that’s fucked up!’ Long story short…I thought I’d do the right thing and clean my ‘friends’ floor dump, not realizing I had trod in it and left poo-prints all over his house. I thought I’d cleaned it all up, only to find the next morning that I had supposedly smeared it even further, on the edge of the wall and under the door. Of course, I pissed myself in my sleep and vomited on my friend’s couch too.
I had trouble touching vodka or any sort of alcohol for almost a year and a half - I WANTED to drink, my throat and gag reflex just wouldn’t accept anything.
I really need to find some Australians to party with.
OMG that is vile. I think I would have passed out in the shower after that one as well…… holy crap, that story makes ME never want to touch vodka again!
You know they DO make adult size diapers—just thought I’d throw that out there……
haha Matt!
Beautiful!!
Noiiiiiiiice*
;PPP
haha…guy from the story posting here.
Lovely photo you added there, my friends are sure to SHIT themselves with laughter.
Another interesting feature to the story - I walked home back to my place about 4 miles away at 6 in the morning, when it was about 8 degrees (46 farenheit for you americans).
I ended up getting the flu since I was so fucking freezing, as my clothes were drenched in my own fluids.
My mum came in at 2pm that day and could smell vodka (hopefully only vodka) before she even opened the door. She wasn’t too impressed.
Mike, you’re a poo trending warrior. I raise my glass in your name!
You already have an Australian toparty with dumb ass. :)
And yes we do know how to party and drink :)
Disgusting but funny
@ Sarah - Thats true and I’m pretty sure you don’t shit on floors (although you do break furniture)
For the love of God that is horrible, you had it coming out of every orifice…ok I can’t even think about it. I am getting nautious. Ive partied with Ausies and they were definitely able to hold it together better than that. Ouch!
hahahahahahaha
i would hate to be that guy
and i would also hate to be associated with that guy in any way
especially would hate to be the one to wake up with shitty pissed on pants next to my head
“I” break furniture? Oh ok. I see, blame me :)
Reading that brought back such fond memories. I left a red puck stain on my friends lawn once that lasted 2 weeks … good times.
sounds like this story is a great submission for myexplosivediarrhea.com