I didn’t cheat…I think

Name: ThatGuy

Age: 23

While living up north I had numerous friends at UMass Lowell.  I would visit occasionally, but I never partied there.  One day my chance came along. A buddy of mine was turning 21, and I was invited.  I drive down from Maine, and grab a bottle of tequila for myself on the way. We started the afternoon playing Guitar Hero waiting for people.

My buddy, and a few close friends go for out for steak to start the night. We each down a few beers, and head back to the dorm for the party. We all had our own booze for the most part, and started the evening with a game of Kings.

I have never played kings, and therefor got completely pwned. Within the first hour of the party I was halfway through a 750 of tequila.  I’m a thin guy, at 6′2″ 138 I get pretty plastered pretty quick.  After playing kings the party had really kicked off, and people were mingling. I was in a relationship at the time, and thus didn’t want to play the field.

Instead I talked to some friends, and kept pretty tame.  Soon my bottle was empty, and I was plastered well beyond the scope of most of the party goers. I started walking around talking to people I didn’t know. Grabbing there cell phones, and making drunk calls.  Pretty soon I was being welcomed around every corner, and people were cheering on my antics.

Soon I decided I had to go sleep. I was staying at the dorm that night. Just didn’t know where.  A female friend of mine invites me to sleep in her room.  I figure I can control myself so why not.  She was reasonably attractive, but I’m taken so I must remain a good man.  We go back to the room, and it’s a multi-room setup with a common living area.  I planned on surfing the futon in there. I get introduced to her roommates, and they all seem pretty cool.

Soon they start leaving the room. I get a little nervous.  My friend pulls out the futon, and gets a blanket. I think “kickass, she’s gonna make my bed too”.  I needed to change, and she offered me a pair of her shorts to sleep in.  Again I think “cool”, and go change. I hop in bed, and thank her.  A minute later she comes out with a pillow.  She changed into a sports bra, and shorts.

Now before I can even realize what’s happening she slides into bed with me.  Mentally I start to panic.  I think of myself as a good guy, and did not want to cheat on my girlfriend.  She gets settled, and clicks off the lights.  I laid on my back, staring at the ceiling.  Soon I feel a hand brush my leg. I start to panic even more.  I roll onto my stomach.  Around that time I pass out. I wake up the next morning, and she was not around. The sheets didn’t seem too messy, and my shorts were on, and not inside out.  But really I have no clue what happened.  I didn’t have any condoms, and for the next month was sweating bullets.

1) You lose man points for wearing girlie shorts but gain humiliation points.

2) We all know you tapped that ass.