In my youth, I was all about the club scene. I regularly got into 21+ bars because of my…physique…and spent a ton of money on gin and tonics and ecstasy. One night, loaded on 2 tabs of X, I began dancing with this guy who I thought looked like a supermodel. Back then, I rarely gave any guy the time of day because I was such a conceited asshole, but in my ecstasy fueled mind I thought I had found my one true partner. Based on his looks.
I know, I was such a bitch.
We spent the rest of the time together, and my girlfriends kept telling me how sweet I was to pick this guy up. I thought they were saying that because I never was the one to pursue men, and I kept agreeing and feeling pretty good about myself.
2am rolled around and I decided I was going to take this guy home. We arrived at my house, I turned the light on in the living room and got my first good look at this guy.
I brought home a 40 year old hunch back.
Look, I am not discriminating in any way against people with disabilities, or physical “quirks”. But a 19 year old girl who had her head up her own ass, bringing home a man with a hunch back? I still get a chuckle out of it. I remember going to the kitchen and immediately doing 2 shots of vodka and after that, going to lay down on the couch. I passed out, woke up the next morning and he was gone.
When I asked my friends why on earth they didn’t tell me, they said it was too funny to let slide. Those bitches. Even though this happened 6 years ago, I still get razzed when we go out to bars. What are friends for?
Dear Becca, I would have given you 1 million cool points if you had given him a sympathy tug. Poor guy had double hunch when he left your place. One on his back, and one in his shorts (not to mention blue balls).