Pro Hockey Jock
June 24, 2008
Name: Patrick
Age: 26
This is from ten years back…and, for the record, I can’t skate…
I had rolled my car while literally drinking and driving. I had, I don’t know, ten to fifteen stitches in my left cheek, four in my chin and a black eye.
Booty Call Episode #12
June 23, 2008
Jake’s Booty Call Episode 12 – California Gigolo
When life hands you a shit sandwich
June 22, 2008
You better have your damn camera on you. Don’t blame the following clip on Russian Vodka, this is called stupidity.
Motorcycle Ride Does Not Go Well – Watch more free videos
Booty Call Episode #11
June 21, 2008
Jake’s Booty Call Episode 11 – Trick or Treat
21st Birthday
June 21, 2008
Name: Mark
Age: 21
So it’s June 14th 11:59 pm, me and my friends are standing at the bar waiting on the clock to hit 12:00 so I can legally drink. I must first inform you I started the night at a restaurant with 5 shots and 4 mixed drinks; I was drunk to say the least.
Booty Call Episode #10
June 19, 2008
Jake’s Booty Call Episode 10 – Snowboarding
Myspace Douchebaggery
June 19, 2008
Every once in awhile I like to contribute. Todays post is not about fat chicks, guzzling beer in Vegas, or my ever so helpful relationship advice. Today I’m going to throw my sister under the bus. Earlier today I was leaving her a comment on myspace. Actually it was that video of the two toddlers getting owned by a bat.
Naturally, I had to wait a awhile for her page to load. Being female = making your myspace front page a cluster fuck of images. Why would anyone use the photo album option when they can cram half a dozen slide shows underneath a god awful playlist?
While I was waiting, I decided to scroll through her comments. Shes got a truck load of hot friends and I will sometimes inform her that she needs to introduce me to the trampy ones. So I began to rifle through the comments looking for sluts.
However, something else caught my eye and it gave me quite a chuckle. Comments from guys trying to be smooth. I might just start a whole new site dedicated to myspace fails. A myspace fail is when a guy tries to be smooth on myspace via the comment option, and well…fails beyond belief.
Seriously, if you’re saying shit like “xoxo”, “baby”, and “honey bear” on myspace you need to reevaluate your life. Better yet; wrap a plastic bag around your head, duct tape the base, and watch the tuck scene from Silence of the Lambs.
I cropped out some of my favorites from her page, enjoy.
Booty Call Episode #9
June 18, 2008
Jake’s Booty Call Episode 9 – Class Reunion
Art Gallery Blackout
June 18, 2008
Name: Tim Sheahan
Age: 21
This all happened fairly recently, the first week of may. My painting professor had invited a few of us from class to one of his friend’s gallery openings on the north side of Chicago. Now, while I’m an artist, that doesn’t mean I can tolerate artsy types for several hours, so I decided it’d be much easier to deal with the smug if I fortified my mind with a 750ml of Smirnoff dispersed evenly into an 8-pack of blue Gatorade, cause I love Dr. Who and all they’d be serving there were 2oz cups of box wine. So it was early Friday evening that me and three friends made the hour-long drive into the city while I diligently set to work on downing all eight of those bastards, figuring my metabolism would then provide me with a steadily increasing inebriation throughout the night. Sound reasoning, I thought, but its important to note at this point that I was in the city for five hours that night, and barring momentary flashes of recollection, the only clear portion is the first 30 minutes or so after arrival. The majority of the rest of this story was related to me a couple days later by my handlers, after they lightened up enough to speak to me again.
Too lazy to watch Iron Man in theaters?
June 18, 2008
Looks like the streaming video got taken down due to copyright infringement. If you know of any other sources let me know.
