Name: Jimmy

Age: 19

Living as a freshman at Ohio State, this story starts an hour or two after the victory against Michigan last year.

We brought a 30 case of keystone light into our room, and about 5 others came over to begin drinking.  This was around 5pm or so, and we played kings (a drinking game) for about 2 hours until we were out of beer.

Luckily , I had a handle of Korski (cheap ass) Vodka in my freezer, and we started doing shots.  I get a wave of adrenaline, and decide to get obliterated.  I’m chasing shots with more shots, doing doubles, while keeping everyone apprised of how many shots I had taken.  I got to 16, and it’s at this point my face looks like a ‘brick wall’.  From this point on most of the story is a blackout.

I get back from the bathroom and my friend is talking to two women close by to my room.  I get entangled in the conversation.

Girl: So have you two been drinking?
Me: O yeah we’ve been drinking.
Girl: Are you drinking in there? (my room)
Friend: No, we we’re over at the bar drinking a little bit earlier.
Girl: They serve you underage there?
Friend: Yeah, they don’t care– (Me interrupting) “Yeah we’ve been taking shots in our room”.

Around now I start to understand that these are RAs, and they’re going to write us up for drinking.  We all give fake names, including me, despite us being in my room.  They obviously still called me the next day.

We go to meet our friends at their dorm before we go out for the night.  A few highlights from the Dorm to the party include:

-My friend and I both take a huge piss all over the elevator floor.
-I stumble and nearly crash into a laptop on a table.
-I stop and take a piss right on High Street (which is the biggest road on campus and one of the main roads of the city)
-I ran into some bushes, and continued to walk through them for about 15 feet instead of walking back onto the sidewalk.

I don’t really know why I left the party, or where I thought I was going, but eventually I ended up wandering on the rocks about 10 feet away from some railroad tracks, completely shoeless.  Sometime in the previous few minutes, I distinctly remember yelling “I have nothing of value, you fuck.”  You can read into that as in that I was mugged, or I just was a drunken idiot and yelled that, because I would like to know myself.

I get called and describe my location using completely generic landmarks (tree, street post, ect.)  No one was giving me directions home.

I wandered until I found a gas station and asked which way High street was.  After a few minutes of stumbling, I found it.  I make my way in the general direction towards my dorm.

I get inside, and stop by my friends room.  I’m told, and realize that I am completely covered in dirt.  I decide to go shower after chilling there for just a minute.

Well it turns out I sat there for about 30 minutes as my friend was trying to hook up with a girl he had over.  So I unknowingly was a cock-block.  It ended up alright though - I left, showered, and passed out, only to hear the details in the morning.  I called my friend the next day, and the first thing she said was, “Are you in jail?”

So that was my adventure, the drunkest of my life.  I checked and found out that I was over 2 miles away from my dorm at the shortest possible distance,  so I probably walked about 6 miles that night.  I also had a few small shards of glass in my foot, which sucked.

Jimmy – Next time you decide to take a 6 mile hike remember to leave your Nike’s on.  This isn’t Kenya my friend.