Name: Lance
Age: 20
I was a Sophomore in College and was visiting my parents for spring break. My home town was somewhat dead compared to college life so I was not super thrilled to be twiddling my thumbs for the next week.
One morning I head to the store only to run into a girl that I dated on and off my senior year in HS. Her name was Abby, and she wasn’t bad looking but had sort of a goofy laugh. Being super bored I sprang at the opportunity when she invited me to the Drive-in that night. Road trip was scheduled to play, this wasn’t going to be half bad.
So I get home and convince my mom to let me take her new Explorer to the Drive-in. Of course there were stipulations that I agreed to like: No nachos, no cheese fries etc etc.
Around 8 I take my moms new ride to go pick up Abby. She was looking pretty hot in her little sundress and I kind of wished that I had put something nicer than a t-shirt on.
During the movie I notice Abby starting getting “touchy feely” with me. When she put down her drink, she’d leave her hand on my knee. When I made a joke, she’d have her hand on my arm. The signs were there so I made my move.
Minutes later I’ve got the back seats folded down and we’re fogging up the windows like a steam room at Bally’s.
We finished up right as the credits started to roll, so we jumped back into the front and took off. I dropped Abby off and headed home. It was dark when I pulled into the drive way so I figured I would wake up early and make sure I hadn’t left any fries on the floor board of my moms new ride.
The next morning I shuffled outside only to see my mom already outside inspecting her car.
Me: Hey mom I was just about to make sure that I hadn’t left any food in here.
Mom (pointing at something): Is that what you call food!?
Shit! I never folded the seats back up and there was a giant white streak splattered across the upholstery.
My mom stormed off and I just stood there for a moment like a dumbass…
I don’t think I’ve ever felt more ashamed of myself.
So Lance, does tattoo’ing an Explorer’s seats with DNA take away from the resale value?
May 14, 2008
#1
wooooooooooooooooow
May 14, 2008
#2
U shouldn’ta been ashamed
May 14, 2008
#3
Wow, owned..
“Minutes later I’ve got the back seats folded down and we’re fogging up the windows like a steam room at Bally’s.”
That’s unmistakable, too!
Great post
Your mother will never let you forget this one.
May 14, 2008
#4
OMG…that just incredible. Sooo embarassing.
May 14, 2008
#5
and I though using a sock was embarrassing…
May 14, 2008
#6
Omg, it is interesting how stuff happens to people…
May 14, 2008
#7
Ouch! That must be the last time your mom’s gonna let you near her ride again…
May 14, 2008
#8
That is a crazy ass story.
May 14, 2008
#9
I’m laughing and cringing at the same time
May 16, 2008
#10
Getting it on in your mom’s ride…classic!
Getting a girl knocked up in your mom’s ride…Midwestern style.
May 16, 2008
#11
Leaving tread marks on your moms seats, Oklahoma style
May 29, 2008
#12
I drank cherry vodka and threw up on a friends white apolstry (new TransAM). Doubt he ever got the red spot out. At least it was in the back seat.
May 30, 2008
#13
classic
June 3, 2008
#14
I’m pretty sure this is why they invented Shout Wipes.
June 19, 2008
#15
If it was my family’s vehicle my dad would just walk off sayin’ “hell yea”
August 6, 2008
#16
hey maybe next time u should lay a blanket down or something