Name: Mike
Age: 23
This one was submitted by Mike. He actually has his own site called PuffMatty.com which is pretty entertaining.
The year was 1993- I was 23, and my future ex-wife was 18 (yeah, I like jailbait)- we were upstairs at her parents huge house watching TV upstairs in the den. Since we could hear when people came up the stairs, we started messing around–even though her parents were home.
Well, after giving her the best 4 1/2 minutes of her life, I busted my nut, stuck Mr. Peepers back in my pants and we went back to watching the movie.
About 15 minutes later, I felt the man-goo residue seeping out of me and said:
“Hey, baby, watch this” whipped out my man-meat, and flung the baby batter about 15 feet onto the carpet in the hallway. We both laughed and went back to watching TV.
Soon we heard footsteps coming up the stairs, so we straightened up our clothes and tried to look as innocently as possible. It was my future ex-mother-in-law coming down the hallway, barefoot, carrying a basket of clean laundry. She stops right on my jizz, backs up, sticks her fingers in it, rubs it around her fingers….then smells it. Ha!
They hated me anyway, so that just makes the story even sweeter!
Needless to say, my ex doesn’t like me bringing this story up, but it’ll always be my favorite. “Mike”.
Mike, you get a gold star for the range, and a medal of honor for the finger sniff + bare foot combo.
May 17, 2008
#1
Oh gosh, why did your future ex mother-in-law even go to smell the stuff? I mean, you don’t go around smelling the stuff that you step on every now and then, do you? :0
May 18, 2008
#2
Guess she had a smell fetish, I guess. Hey, she could have tasted it–her daughter sure did. booo-yah! m
May 19, 2008
#3
eeewww! to stand in it would be bad enough with out touching and smelling. That really is yucky…but funny!
May 20, 2008
#4
heh that is pretty awesome. Yeah once your girlfriends parents or wife parents hate you anything goes.
May 29, 2008
#5
I’ve never heard the term “baby batter” before. I’ll remember that!
May 30, 2008
#6
lol thats awesome as I can see myself doing the same thing
June 4, 2008
#7
That’s sick man. All I can picture is Jazzy Jeff from the Fresh Prince being thrown out the front door.
October 5, 2009
#8
First of all, youre a douche bag. Second of all, youre pretty cool man, super cool actually.