Regretful Morning

Rob and the helpful hostess

Posted April 1st, 2008 at 11:06 pm by

Name: Rob

Age: 25

I got talked in to taking a road trip up to South Carolina a few summers ago.  My friend Matt’s old college roommate invited him up the coast to his dad’s new vacation house.  This guys dad was pretty loaded.  He had sold his company and pretty much spent all of his time going on vacations with a girl that was young enough to be his daughter.  Matt told me that this was just one of two vacation homes that he owned and it came with the works.  Lake front view, fishing boat, jet ski’s etc.  This got me excited and I was ready to commit.

We loaded the coolers and hit the road.  This was pretty uneventful but we made damn good time.  I drove for the first half and Matt did the rest.  Four wrong turns and one twelve pack later we finally found our way to the house.

I was under the assumption that there would only be a handful of us at the house for a weekend of boating and fishing.  Upon pulling into the gravel driveway, I thought to myself this was no longer the case.  There were about 10 cars parked on the side of the road and people with beer cups standing around.  We grabbed our bags and headed inside where we eventually met up with the Derrek (Matt’s roommate and the son of the guy who owned the house).  He explained that the house usually gets packed like this on weekends, much like that movie “Weekend at Bernie’s”.

I quickly grabbed a cup and began to mingle.  I don’t remember much of that night but I’m sure it was a blast.

The next day the 3 of us load into the boat for some fishing on the lake.  Derrek explained that we would probably have a big crowd at the house again tonight, but would need to keep it more low key.  His dad and girlfriend would be arriving and probably didn’t want their house full of drunk college kids that night.  We didn’t catch any fish that day but some girls in a boat buzzed passed us flashing their goods.  This made my day.

Around 9pm we were all out on the deck when the house started to fill up.  Derrek’s dad was no where in site so we figured he may arrive in the morning instead.  This was a bit of a relief to me because it meant I wouldn’t have to keep my composure.  Then shit started getting crazy…

I remember seeing a fist fight, topless girls kissing, and some douche bag jumping off of the roof all within 15 minutes of each other.  I headed back to the room where I was staying.  I had some AC/DC cd’s in my bag and I was getting tired of listening to the top 40 garbage they had been playing all night.

This is where I spotted Kim.  She looked like she was a bit older than me, maybe even mid 30′s but she was as hot as they come.  She wasn’t dressed like the other girls either.  She had the “I just got out of a business meeting and now I’m ready to fuck” look.  We started talking about music when I told her I wanted to spice up the current play list.  This girl knew her shit.  She even argued the point that Led Zeppelin was better drinking music than AC/DC.

I went to the kitchen and grabbed us a few more beers so we could continue our music discussion.  Kim looked at the beer I handed to her, laughed, and said “hold on”.  She came back with a bottle of Tequila, lime juice, a salt shaker, and two plastic cups.  This was the most fun I’ve ever had doing shots!

Then I asked her if she had ever done body shots.  With a smirk she said “Do they go anything like this”?  We both did a shot when she squirted the lime juice in my mouth, grabbed my head, and kissed me.  From there it was lights out.  If I didn’t know any better I could have swore I was at the bottom of a Burger King ball pit.  She was scratching and biting like a first grader.  It was still great and I would do it all over again in a heart beat.

The next day I wake up to Matt telling me to come eat breakfast.  I head over to the kitchen where I see Derrek and his dad already eating.  Apparently he had slipped in last night and I didn’t even notice.  I introduce myself and sit down for some awesome looking pancakes.

Then I hear Derrek’s dad say “Hi hun, have you met Derrek’s friends”?  I turn to my left, only to find Kim looking at me.  I was horrified.  I played dumb after introducing myself and kept my head down.  I thought that Derrek’s dad would pull a shotgun on me any minute.  6 hours ago I was raw dogging the hosts girlfriend, and now I was eating breakfast with the both of them.

It was definitely one of my craziest nights.  Luckily everyone was oblivious to what had happened until I told Matt the story on our drive home.

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  • .45
    April 2, 2008


    Sounds like my kind of party. Props on that score.

  • Qelqoth
    April 3, 2008


    “She was scratching and biting like a first grader.”

    I wish my wife was that eager.

  • .45
    April 4, 2008


    “I wish my wife was that eager.”

    secret formula = tequila

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