My girlfriend and I were taking a trip to Thailand for vacation. We were supposed to meet up with some friends that we knew once we got there. If you have never been to Thailand, you need to make the trip at least once. I would recommend that you do not bring your girlfriend though.
Let me start by saying; this is something that I witnessed, not something that happened to me directly.
After a few days of site seeing we met up with my buddy Sven and his sister. Sven and I really wanted to check out some of those famous Thai strip clubs that we’ve heard so much about. We soon realized that this was going to be much harder than we anticipated. I was not about to ask my girlfriend to enter a whore house and Sven did not live in a trailer park. So him asking his sister to convince my girlfriend to go, was also out of the picture.
On our last night in Thailand the 4 of us went out to dinner. After dinner the girls were tired and wanted to call it a night. Sven and I saw this as a perfect opportunity to have one last hurrah before we left.
The 4 of us headed back to the hotel where Sven then said “Hey Jacob I’m not quite tired yet, do you want to walk around for awhile”. I looked at my girlfriend to get her reaction. Her gaze was blank so I said “Ya man you don’t wanna be walking around here at night by yourself.”
The following sequence of events are a bit blurry, but I do remember that we ended up in a pretty filthy strip club/whore house type of place. The girls who got up on stage did not do the typical song and dance when it was their turn. This was more like a talent show combined with front seat peep n’ greet.
Then a girl hops up on stage who could not have passed the height test at a Magic Mountain roller coaster. Next to her was a small cup with about 5 ping pong balls inside.
This dirty birdy proceeded to place ping pong balls in her fun hole, whilst spread eagle, and launch them across the stage. This made me howl with laughter and clap. She then pointed her high powered cooter in our direction and blasted a ball our way. Sven was going crazy. “Again Again!” he kept saying. Right as he leans for his drink, the circus freak blasted a ball right toward him.
POW! Direct hit. Sven took a ping pong ball right to the face. We were losing it. After a fun filled night we headed back to the motel for some zzzzz’s.
The next day at breakfast Sven looked like he had been in a fist fight. His eye was red and he could not stop rubbing it. We suspected that he may have picked up pink eye so we kept our distance.
Two weeks later we are all back home. Sven still had the red eye, and decided to see a doctor. From what I understand, the doctor said that Sven somehow got Herpes in his eye.
This was almost 8 years ago and I don’t talk to Sven anymore. What I do know is that he now has herpes in his fucking eye, and he got it from a filthy Thai snatch that could projectile ping pong balls.
Yes Thailand was cool but I would recommend you strap on a set of ski goggles before entering the whore houses.