Fat Girl = New Bed

This story comes to us from a guy who has done 2 tours in Iraq.  Ooooorah!

Name: J.W.

Age: Early 20’s

Ok so here is one for all you jerkoffs that go around saying that they would never fuck a fat chick.  Here I am in 2003 freshman in college, and fresh out of a tour in Iraq.  I am fucking everything that I can get remotely close to my meat stick, and up to this point they have all been worthy of stuffing my cock in.

Well on the night of this incident I was out with some buddies who are some champion pussy ropers.  We go out to this bar for some karaoke and just some general good times to start the night, with no intention of pulling anything out of this bar.

If you were to see this bar you would understand why. I will paint a picture for ya.  Imagine a bar that was built about 70 years ago and has not been renovated or built onto since.  Loggers in full logger garb from the nearby lumber mill are the main clientele.  So you can imagine the type of chicks that hang in here.  Thus, a good reason not to hook up with any of them.

Here I am (a few shots and 8 or so beers along) when this chick starts looking my way.  She looks pretty good in the low light from where I am standing.  Of course she is sitting down so I cant really tell how big this chick is.  Well a few more shots and a couple beers later she decides to come over and ask me for a light.  I light her up and she starts up a conversation.

One thing leads to another and the next thing I know I am playing a game of pool with her.  Now I have a thing for big tits…luv em, and she keeps bending over and these things are about to jump out of whatever slutty shirt she was wearing.

Well to kinda hurry this along my buddies see what filthy things are about to happen to me so they take off and leave me at the mercy of this fat ass.  She was about 5ft 9in and pushing about 180.

So the bar closes down, I pile into my car, and we head to my house.  Yeah yeah I know never bring a fat chick to your own house.  I was drunk what can I say.  We get upstairs and I start in on this bitch.  I feel like one of the old time buffalo hunters skinning a prize kill.

So as I am piling this girl up on my old ass bed when mid stroke, the fucking bed breaks.  No shit the mattress goes right through the frame on one side.  Now a lesser man may have stopped right there, but not this fuckin champ.  I kept going on this lopsided bed until I had finished.

I woke up in the morning wondering what the fuck happened to my bed the night before, and then it hits me.  So I tell this filthy whore (who had not left) that I have to go work out, and that she needs to get her fat ass out from under my covers and into my car so I can drop her off.

During the drive I brought up the thought of her buying me a new bed frame…..(that didn’t go over so well)  So I had to buy a new one myself.  Hey I needed a new bed anyway right?

I think the Moral here is:  When you need to buy a new bed, have a fat filthy sloth completely break your old one first?