So…How many guys have you slept with?
Posted in Regretful's Blog on August 5th, 2008 by JasonThis golden question is inevitable. As time goes on, and curiosity builds, your partner will end up slapping you in the face with this hum-dinger of a question. If you’re a guy, usually you’ll bark out the truthful answer without batting an eye. Females on the other hand are much more complex. Awhile back I brushed on the rule of 3, but recently I’ve been told that there is a completely different algorithm when it comes to receiving an answer for “the question”. As always, this algorithm directly coincides with alcohol intake.
Lets take a look at a real time example:
Amber
Amber is a 22 year old nursing student who is somewhat shy, but now that you’ve been dating for 2 months, you can’t seem to shut her up. A casual conversation begins to develop regarding ex’s when Amber hits you with the question. You reply truthfully, and fire back awaiting a response: Here is how you should calculate her answer.
At 0 drinks, Amber gives an answer of 5. Here is where we can use the simple rule of 3. You can check your answer in the chart above. 5×3=15
Now comes the tricky part. After adding alcohol you may not pin point the exact answer, but using some simple math you can get pretty damn close. Amber has now had 3 drinks and has warmed up a bit so her answer goes from 5 to 7. No sweat, multiply the answer given by 2. 7×2=14. Viewing the graph you will see that this is only slightly off from the actual answer.
Amber has now had 6 drinks and she is rattling off at the mouth like an auctioneer. Being even more comfortable she gives an answer of 9. Take this number an divide it by 2. 9/2 = 4.5. Now add that number to her original answer. 9+4.5=13.5. We will assume that .5 resembles a midget.
Conclusion: Using simple math and my professional graph, we now have a way to calculate how many men have pile driven Daddy’s little girl before it was our turn. Feel free to print out this advanced algorithm and graph for your own personal use. You may also want to consider using an extra prophylactic if your partner has given an answer that exceeds two digits. Ladies, please don’t waste your time telling me that this is not accurate. I used a graph.
